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School teaching should focus on success on the workforce and less attention should be given to academic achievement, to what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

School teaching should focus on success on the workforce and less attention should be given to academic achievement, v. 1
Buying stuffs over the internet has increased the unemployment rate and environmental issues. In today’s time, ordering the packages on the websites have become ubiquitous. I agree that this activity is having a negative effect on the nature and people’s job. This essay will discuss how this practice is unhealthy for our planet and the mankind. It is seen that purchases made online has contributed to air pollution and loss of livelihood. Firstly, plenty of vehicles leave every day to make the delivery at the doorstep which leads to emission of carbon dioxide and other poisonous gas in the atmosphere. For example, as per the statistics, approximately thousands of items are dispatched each day that means the excess number of automobiles on the road. Hence, contaminating the air, causing harm to the human beings and the other species. Secondly, many small scale businesses have failed to compete with the emergence of modern ways of shopping. Though it has generated employment for most of the job seekers, but at meagre pay. Local shops cannot invest as much as other big enterprises to stay in the market. For instance, in India, plethora of start ups is shut within the first two years because of the entirely different marketing scheme, ultimately employed workers are laid off, in addition to that, the owners suffer a huge loss of money and hope for an impressive outcome. That is why, the unsuccessful business ventures are permanently wiped out. In a nutshell, offline acquisition of items has been superseded by online shopping. Though It is a growing trend, the detrimental effects cannot be ignored. It has been globally accepted, and now has become common method to buy or sell a merchandise.
Buying stuffs over the internet has increased the unemployment rate and environmental issues. In
today
’s time, ordering the packages on the websites have become ubiquitous. I
agree
that this activity is having a
negative
effect on the nature and
people
’s job. This essay will discuss how this practice is unhealthy for our planet and the mankind.

It is
seen
that
purchases
made online has contributed to air pollution and loss of livelihood.
Firstly
,
plenty
of vehicles
leave
every day to
make
the delivery at the doorstep which leads to emission of carbon dioxide and other poisonous gas in the atmosphere.
For example
, as per the statistics, approximately thousands of items
are dispatched
each day that means the excess number of automobiles on the road.
Hence
, contaminating the air, causing harm to the human beings and the other species.

Secondly
,
many
small
scale businesses have failed to compete with the emergence of modern ways of shopping. Though it has generated employment for most of the job seekers,
but
at
meagre
pay. Local shops cannot invest as much as other
big
enterprises to stay in the market.
For instance
, in India, plethora of
start ups
is shut
within the
first
two years
because
of the
entirely
different
marketing scheme,
ultimately
employed workers
are laid
off,
in addition
to that, the owners suffer a huge loss of money and hope for an impressive outcome.
That is
why, the unsuccessful business ventures are
permanently
wiped out.

In a nutshell, offline acquisition of items has
been superseded
by online shopping. Though It is a growing trend, the detrimental effects cannot be
ignored
. It has been globally
accepted
, and
now
has become common method to
buy
or sell a merchandise.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay School teaching should focus on success on the workforce and less attention should be given to academic achievement, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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