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Some young adult want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Some want to stay with them for a longer period of time. Which of these situation do yo think is better? Use Specific example and reason to support your position. v.1

Some young adult want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Some want to stay with them for a longer period of time. Which of these situation do yo think is better? Use Specific example and reason to support your position. v. 1
Great social skills and qualifications are considered as the cornerstone for employing people. In this essay I am going to illustrate why do I agree with that. The employment field is getting crowded by time. Accordingly, employers had to raise their standards in order to choose the best possible employees. As today's candidates tend to be aware of the strict criteria of employment, they aim to improve themselves and be armed with any potential advantage that can make them stand out in their fight for stable income. Immediately after graduation, they start taking private courses that are relevant to their dream job, and start practising to gain experience. The work environment can be very tough these days. Handling all your tasks, contacting with other divisions, trying to accommodate unsatisfied customers and reaching your target before deadline, all that is counted on as your usual duties that you are expected to fulfil. As, uncooperative hard to understand members of any team causes huge loss not only for their teams, but also to the company as a whole integrated entity, affecting its productivity and the quality of the offered service. That is why I totally agree on the principle of choosing cooperative well qualified nominees. Because, to achieve success, extraordinary people should do their best. In conclusion, the process of picking up employees is very delicate and is committed to a crucial standard. In which the highly qualified and most cooperative is the sole one that can keep up with the requirements of the modern era. For them we owe respect and appreciation
Great social
skills
and qualifications
are considered
as the cornerstone for employing
people
. In this essay I am going to illustrate why do I
agree
with that.

The employment field is getting crowded by time.
Accordingly
, employers had to raise their standards in order to choose the best possible employees. As
today
's candidates tend to be aware of the strict criteria of employment, they aim to
improve
themselves and
be armed
with any potential advantage that can
make
them stand out in their fight for stable income. Immediately after graduation, they
start
taking private courses that are relevant to their dream job, and
start
practising
to gain experience.

The work environment can be
very
tough these days. Handling all your tasks, contacting with other divisions, trying to accommodate unsatisfied customers and reaching your target
before
deadline, all that
is counted
on as your usual duties that you are
expected
to fulfil. As, uncooperative
hard
to understand members of any team causes huge loss not
only
for their teams,
but
also
to the
company
as a whole integrated entity, affecting its productivity and the quality of the offered service.
That is
why I
totally
agree
on the principle of choosing cooperative well qualified nominees.
Because
, to achieve success, extraordinary
people
should do their best.

In conclusion
, the process of picking up employees is
very
delicate and
is committed
to a crucial standard. In which the
highly
qualified and most cooperative is the sole one that can
keep
up with the requirements of the modern era. For them we owe respect and
appreciation
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young adult want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Some want to stay with them for a longer period of time. Which of these situation do yo think is better? Use Specific example and reason to support your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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