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Some people think that giving money as a gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that giving money as a gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. v. 1
Well, to begin with, it is suggested to start the career at the earliest, once after the education is completed unlike many people who prefer to take a break. They want to enjoy that time, falling under the false inhibition that, they may not get such time in the future, after joining the job. True, that they want to have a pleasureful season, but, there are some advantages and some disadvantages attached to this. No doubt one can take a break off after their University but, only if it is utilized properly. On the positive side, the vacation spent shall leave lots of memories, as said above and also, enables to interact with people, make relations and increase bonding. Perpetually, these connections can be fine tuned to earn a beautiful living, paving a great path ahead of successful careers. Many-a-times, they give lots of lessons, provide experience in interacting socially, building their independent thoughts. In fact, it enhances the level of maturity in receiving any idea, discussion or a person and improves their skills of understanding, the such, moulding them into a great personality. Meanwhile, they can compose this duration for enriching their talents with advanced courses, gaining knowledge of new methodologies, absorbing the market conditions, developments in the latest trends and so on. For example, a student who has completed a Masters in Statistics or Applied Sciences can go for a Data Science course, a candidate of Commerce can go for a Business Analytics or Data Analytics, a Human Resources graduate can opt for HR Analytics, and many more. This shall not only bring subject to their resume, but also boosts their aptitude, filling the gaps, if any. In contrary, such gap may lead to wipe off the subject from minds, as there will be full freak out of days. Everything should be in practice at least, every now and then, or it might lead to mess too. For instance, a computer or a mobile, needs to get formatted once in every quarter, if not, six months, which, otherwise, shall lapse the system and the files in it. When this is true in the case of an accessory, obviously, it is very much essential for a human brain, to get refreshed. Despite, just as the data shall be stored in a data card before formatting, even the human brain needs to save the learnt techniques, through perpetual repetitions. In conclusion to the above, it is strongly suggested that, one should be aware about the disjunction, that it has to be handled with utmost care, planning and proper guidance, so that, this can be cashed in a vital focused procedure.
Well, to
begin
with, it
is suggested
to
start
the career at the earliest, once after the education
is completed
unlike
many
people
who prefer to take a break. They want to enjoy that time, falling under the false inhibition that, they may not
get
such time in the future, after joining the job. True, that they want to have a pleasureful season,
but
, there are
some
advantages and
some
disadvantages attached to this. No doubt one can take a break off after their University
but
,
only
if it
is utilized
properly
.

On the
positive
side, the vacation spent shall
leave
lots of memories, as said above and
also
, enables to interact with
people
,
make
relations and increase bonding.
Perpetually
, these connections can be
fine tuned
to earn a
beautiful
living, paving a great path ahead of successful careers.
Many
-a-times, they give lots of lessons, provide experience in interacting
socially
, building their independent thoughts. In fact, it enhances the level of maturity in receiving any
idea
, discussion or a person and
improves
their
skills
of understanding, the such,
moulding
them into a great personality.

Meanwhile, they can compose this duration for enriching their talents with advanced courses, gaining knowledge of new methodologies, absorbing the market conditions, developments in the latest trends and
so
on.
For example
, a student who has completed a Masters in Statistics or Applied Sciences can go for a
Data
Science course, a candidate of Commerce can go for a Business Analytics or
Data
Analytics, a Human Resources graduate can opt for HR Analytics, and
many
more. This shall not
only
bring subject to their resume,
but
also
boosts their aptitude, filling the gaps, if any.

In contrary, such gap may lead to wipe off the subject from minds, as there will be full freak out of days. Everything should be in practice at least, every
now
and then, or it might lead to mess too.
For instance
, a computer or a mobile, needs to
get
formatted once in every quarter, if not, six months, which,
otherwise
, shall lapse the system and the files in it. When this is true in the case of an accessory,
obviously
, it is
very
much essential for a human brain, to
get
refreshed. Despite,
just
as the
data
shall
be stored
in a
data
card
before
formatting, even the human brain needs to save the
learnt
techniques, through perpetual repetitions.

In conclusion
to the above, it is
strongly
suggested that, one should be aware about the disjunction, that it
has to
be handled
with utmost care, planning and proper guidance,
so
that, this can
be cashed
in a vital focused procedure.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that giving money as a gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
440 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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