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Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
Nowadays, people have several ways to keep a connection with their friends through social media, email, cellphone and voice mails. As people use different tools to solve their problems, they have to choose the way wisely. Some people may state that resolving a problem through emails and text messages is an efficient way while others argue that phone calls and voice mails are deep to discuss the problem. In my opinion, I prefer using phone calls and voice mails to connect with people for several reasons. First of all, resolving problems though phone calls and voice mails can directly save the problem without a waste of time. To illustrate, when I worked in the urban office in Taipei city which in Taiwan, we often to use emails and letters to discuss the design project without a mayor. Nevertheless, it is too hard to use the message to explain the beauty of the design and we cannot know the feedback immediately. We waste of our time and the mayor’s crowded schedule. To resolve this problem, we start using voice mails to communicate, if we have some emergency problems, we will call the major directly. As a result, it is an efficient way that helps us to catch the deadline for the assignment. Second, through calling and voice mails, people can deeply discuss solution safety. To be specific, the president of Taiwan will not use email to connect with other countries because it is too easy to catch the details in the mail but it is impossible to hear the voice through the calling in the president office. Personally, I have several times of the crucial interviews with companies. The manager can deeply observe people’s faces and emotion to know the characteristics of the person. In contrast, if the manager only use words of the messages to understand the interviewer, it will take a risk that the person who wrote the mail is totally different with the truly worker who go to the company, due to people can ask someone to act like a polite person through writing. In the end, I recommend people who have to resolve problem by calling and voice mails because we have to extremely deliberate the solution with each other. Third, as people talking, the tone and emotion through the voice help me to understand his or her feeling about the problem. For example, I have the thesis design with my professor who stays in Japan for several months. Actually, even we use voice mails and phone calls to communicate, we still have an effective process to keep the design in good condition. If he has a cough or sighs through the calling, I will know that maybe he is not satisfying of the project. Also, I will be anxiety if my talking is too fast and nervous. Eventually, voice is a true way to feel a person’s emotion and help us to organize the situation comprehensively. Definitely, some people may think that it is embracing to solve the problem through talking like voice mails and phone calls because you only have one chance to talk about the topic and you cannot erase the texts like in the emails and messages. However, I suggest that people should practice much more through communication due to we talk a lot in every day and the process is necessary. Furthermore, resolving the problem through phone calls and voice mails not only cultivates our communication skills but increase our organize abilities as well. To conclude, I prefer to resolve the problem through phone calls and voice mails for the three reasons, and I gave the specific details about the topic why I prefer this way.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have several ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a connection with their friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social media, email, cellphone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tools to solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose the way
wisely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may state that resolving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
emails and text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
is an efficient way while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails are deep to discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. In my opinion, I prefer using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for several reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, resolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails can
directly
save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
without a waste of time. To illustrate, when I worked in the urban office in Taipei city which in Taiwan, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
emails and letters to discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
project without a mayor.
Nevertheless
, it is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the beauty of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
design and
we cannot know the feedback immediately. We waste of our time and the mayor’s crowded schedule. To resolve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails to communicate, if we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
the major
directly
.
As a result
, it is an efficient way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to catch the deadline for the assignment.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
calling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
deeply
discuss solution safety. To be specific, the president of Taiwan will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
email to connect with other countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too easy to catch the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in the mail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is impossible to hear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the calling in the president office.
Personally
, I have several times of the crucial interviews with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. The manager can
deeply
observe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
faces and emotion to know the characteristics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
In contrast
, if the manager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
words of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
to understand the interviewer, it will take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wrote the mail is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with the
truly
worker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can ask someone to act like a polite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
writing. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by calling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
extremely
deliberate the solution with each other.

Third, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
talking, the tone and emotion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
feeling about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For example
, I have the thesis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
with my professor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stays in Japan for several months. Actually, even we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
to communicate, we
still
have an effective process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition. If he has a cough or sighs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the calling, I will know that maybe he is not satisfying of the project.
Also
, I will be anxiety if my talking is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and nervous.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
is a true way to feel a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
emotion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to organize the situation
comprehensively
.

Definitely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is embracing to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
talking like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have one chance to talk about the topic and you cannot erase the texts like in the emails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
.
However
, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should practice much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
communication due to we talk a lot in every day and the process is necessary.
Furthermore
, resolving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cultivates our communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
increase our organize abilities
as well
.
To conclude
, I prefer to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voice
mails for the three reasons, and I gave the specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the topic why I prefer this way.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
79Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
614 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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