Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
Computers are very popular amongst the other technological devices because of its wide variety of uses. Although there are many who believes that daily use of laptops creates more negative results rather than beneficial outcomes. I agree with the argument and why it is like that it has described in following paragraphs. Firstly, everyone is using computers for their work or studies because all the materials are accessible in that tool. That is the main reason people find this machine is very cool and compact which does all the necessary functions. At the same time, there are many other things included in that, such as games which can impact the result of the children. For instance, some children have a habit of always working on laptops and in their free time they play games which ultimately affect their academic performance. Another reason is that nowadays many video games and online group games are available which can be played from different places. So people do not have to get together at one place. However, it has a very bad influence which affects physical and mental health of the students. Ultimately, it results in poor performance at work or at school. For example, Newly innovated game "Pubji" has decreased overall 30% performance of student compare to previous years. High tech machines are one of the big reasons for poor studies. To conclude, the computer makes so much different in work industry and it also helps to make things accurate, but excessive use as well as unnecessary stuff can create negative results on younger generations.
Computers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular amongst the other technological devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its wide variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who believes that daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of laptops creates more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
rather
than beneficial outcomes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument and why it is like that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in following paragraphs.

Firstly
, everyone is using computers for their work or studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the materials are accessible in that tool.
That is
the main reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this machine is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cool and compact which does all the necessary functions. At the same time, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things included in that, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which can impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of the children.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children have a habit of always working on laptops and in their free time they play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which
ultimately
affect their academic performance.

Another reason is that nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and online group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are available which can
be played
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together at one place.
However
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence which affects physical and mental health of the students.
Ultimately
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in poor performance at work or at school.
For example
,
Newly
innovated game
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubji
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
has decreased
overall
30% performance of student compare to previous years. High tech machines are one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reasons for poor studies.

To conclude
, the computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in work industry and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things accurate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as well
as unnecessary stuff can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
on younger generations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which do you prefer: resolving a problem through emails and text messages or resolving it through phone calls and voice mails? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts