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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Countries should spend more money on the exploration of outer space than on the preservation of the environment. v.571

Countries should spend more money on the exploration of outer space than on the preservation of the environment. v. 571
People spend time and money to explore outer space easier than before. Some people may state that countries should spend more money on the exploration of outer space while others argue that the cost of money on preservation of the environment is a crucial problem need to be solved. In my opinion, I disagree with the following statement that human should contribute in outer space exploration for several reasons. First of all, exploration of outer space costs amounts of money. To illustrate, government construct rocket to explore space and the budgets of training the astronauts from the tax, both spend too much expenses in the country. On the other hand, if the money will ne used to the environment preservation then it can solve many emergency problems. In addition, the water shortage or crop failure problems are closer in people’s life than the outer space exploration. Second, human waste too many resources on space exploration. For instance, to build spaceship it needs lots of rarely metal, aluminum is one of the metal used to construct the money and time to build it, the process during emitting spaceship with separate part of the spaceship which may not reuse anymore. As a result, the more expenses people spend on space exploration, the more resources they waste. Third, the preservation of environment is more influential for people’s lives. To be specific, global warming causes polar bears losing their habitats and the rising od marine level make some islands disappear. As a result, animals and human lose their foods and house more than before. Those problems are an emergency and a problem than exploring outer space because they are just happening now. Definitely, some people may state that outer space exploration is necessary because human needs to discover other possible planet to live. However, even humans try to explore universe, earth’s environment is crucial problems due to the disasters which bring damage to human and other species. To conclude, countries should not spend money to explore outer space but should focus on environment preservation because the feedback is lower than the loss.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may state that countries should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
while others argue that the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preservation
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
need to
be solved
. In my opinion, I disagree with the following statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should contribute in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
for several reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
costs amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
construct rocket to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and the budgets of training the astronauts from the tax, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
expenses in the country. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
Did you mean "né", "me", or "no"?
ne
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preservation
then it can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
In addition
, the water shortage or crop failure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are closer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
waste too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
.
For instance
, to build spaceship it needs lots of rarely metal, aluminum is one of the metal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time to build it, the process during emitting spaceship with separate part of the spaceship which may not reuse anymore.
As a result
, the more expenses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
, the more resources they waste.

Third, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preservation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is more influential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To be specific, global warming causes polar bears losing their habitats and the rising
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
marine level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
islands disappear.
As a result
, animals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
lose their foods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are an emergency and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
than exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
happening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Definitely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
possible planet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
However
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
universe, earth’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to the disasters which bring damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species.
To conclude
, countries should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preservation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the feedback is lower than the loss.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Countries should spend more money on the exploration of outer space than on the preservation of the environment. v. 571

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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