Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Where is a good place to have fun in your city or town? Describe this place and explain why it is fun. v.1

Where is a good place to have fun in your city or town? Describe this place and explain why it is fun. v. 1
In recent years, the demand for manual labour has dropped due to the improving of technology and automation. As a result, working hours should be decreased and I think it is a workable method of developing. In many industries, a lot of jobs which cannot be done by people, are performed through the use of auto machines. Because human can not do some acts as robots can do quickly. For instance, robots are extremely sophisticated computers that are created in order to help elderly people, to ease some works, saving time. As a result, the lifestyle is being more simple than before. People should just control over them. Therefore, due to the automation of industries, mostly, working hours should be reduced and giving more free time for workers, would be honest. However, there is one opposite point of increasing technology, although it is not the most significant. It is common that tools are manufactured for a certain period of time. That is why they should be changed to another new when they are useless. So it is evident that machines are able to work the whole day. If there will be a reduction of working hours, company may not achieve its goals, high quality and mostly may not make any income. To sum up, most industries should shorten working hours in order to employ more man power, achieving high quality. In short, advantages of reducing working hours, outweigh its drawbacks.
In recent years, the demand for manual
labour
has dropped due to the improving of technology and automation.
As a result
,
working
hours
should
be decreased
and I
think
it is a
workable
method of developing.

In
many
industries,
a lot of
jobs which cannot
be done
by
people
,
are performed
through the
use
of auto machines.
Because
human can not do
some
acts as robots can do
quickly
.
For instance
, robots are
extremely
sophisticated computers that
are created
in order to
help
elderly
people
, to
ease
some
works, saving time.
As a result
, the lifestyle is being
more simple
than
before
.
People
should
just
control over them.
Therefore
, due to the automation of industries,
mostly
,
working
hours
should be
reduced
and giving more free time for workers, would be honest.

However
, there is one opposite point of increasing technology, although it is not the most significant. It is common that tools
are manufactured
for a certain period of time.
That is
why they should be
changed
to another new when they are useless.
So
it is evident that machines are able to work the whole day. If there will be a reduction of
working
hours
,
company
may not achieve its goals, high quality and
mostly
may not
make
any income.

To sum up, most industries should shorten
working
hours
in order to employ more
man
power, achieving high quality. In short, advantages of reducing
working
hours
, outweigh its drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Where is a good place to have fun in your city or town? Describe this place and explain why it is fun. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts