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would you prefer to take a part time course or have a part time job during your summer vacation? use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

would you prefer to take a part time course or have a part time job during your summer vacation? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, modern building structures play a pivotal role in bringing the change and the appearance of the town and the cities, but the authorities insisted that the new buildings can be built in traditional style to protect the culture heritage of the particular identity. In this essay, I partially agree with the government statement and discuss my opinion. In the modern era, architects done a fabulous job in shaping the particular city or town with the modern buildings which is packed with all the luxurious facilities and these are not only confined to residential concept, it can be shopping malls, offices and so on, although some cities and town are known by its modern buildings. From the recent research, it has been observed that people in metro cities preferred to buy flats in those buildings which are well designed and equipped with all the benefits. As authorities are of the opinion that buildings should be constructed in a traditional way to protect the cultural heritage, but to some extent, it is not possible because if all the buildings have same structures then visitors become bored because of the same resemblance and even it doesn't look attractive. Some historical monuments can be renovated with the traditional style to reflect the culture and it seems to be attractive for the tourists and the general public too. To conclude, it has been observed that buildings bring an impression to a particular cities or towns with its architectural designs, but as per authorities' views are concerned historical monuments should be renovated in traditional style so that every visitor keep in touch with the cultural values also.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
structures play a pivotal role in bringing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and the appearance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the authorities insisted that the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can
be built
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
style to protect the culture heritage of the particular identity. In this essay, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
statement and discuss my opinion.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, architects done a fabulous job in shaping the particular city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which
is packed
with all the luxurious facilities and these are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confined to residential concept, it can be shopping malls, offices and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
are known
by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. From the recent research, it has
been observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
flats in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well designed
and equipped with all the benefits.

As authorities are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be constructed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
way to protect the cultural heritage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it is not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have same structures then visitors become bored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the same resemblance and even it doesn't look attractive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
historical monuments can
be renovated
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
style to reflect the culture and it seems to be attractive for the tourists and the
Consider using "public".
general public
too.

To conclude
, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
bring an impression to a particular
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "city"?
cities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
with its architectural designs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per authorities' views
are concerned
historical monuments should
be renovated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that every visitor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with the cultural values
also
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay would you prefer to take a part time course or have a part time job during your summer vacation? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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