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When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer Support your answer with specific details v.4

When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer Support your answer with specific details v. 4
As a globalization, many people tend to travel or move to live in other countries. Most migrants have to face with some problems from adjusting yourself in a new environment. Some think that blending with new customs will be a great thing to do when they move to live in another country, while others argue that keeping their traditions will help to maintain their culture. From my perspective, I do believe that changing to new culture have many merits for a number of reasons. On one hand, it will be a better idea for a migrant to change their customs to follow a new one. This is because, the burden of adjusting in a new environment will not happened, if a person follows new culture. Practicing the same traditions of host country will make a person as similar as all locals. Host will not feel like a stranger and be more welcoming by giving some helps or opportunities for them. Consequently, new-comers can easily to accustoms and adjust in a new country. Secondly, following a new customs can help new-comers more understanding in new cultures and also acquires some knowledge. Knowing host tradition makes one has some ideals of other cultures and understands other attitudes. New experience can be acquired if a person opens their mind to practice host custom. Misunderstanding and confusions between host and newcomers will not happen as newcomers follow the major tradition of a new country. For example, Asians, who move to live in western countries, will have a new experience and learn western customs when they attend some traditions such as Christmas or Thanksgiving. Lastly, maintaining their old traditions can lead to some problems to live with others. The disrespect can be caused from keep one’s behavior and against local’s culture. A person will hard to adjust their lifestyle with others. For instance, some visitors, who still wish to have only their national food, will find it hard to go out to have other food with people sue to the difference of eating habit. To sum up, in my perspective, I would like to blend with new customs because I do not want to be an alien in a new environment. Moreover, when I adjust to a new custom, I also can expand my social circle and have some new value experience.
As a globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Most migrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems from adjusting yourself in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that blending with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs will be a great thing to do when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, while others argue that keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. From my perspective, I do believe that changing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits for a number of reasons.

On one hand, it will be a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for a migrant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their customs to follow a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the burden of adjusting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "happen"
happened
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
follows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Practicing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as similar as all locals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Host
will not feel like a stranger and be more welcoming by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
or opportunities for them.
Consequently
, new-comers can
easily
to accustoms and adjust in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
country.

Secondly
, following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "custom"?
customs
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
new-comers more understanding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
also
acquires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge. Knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ideals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and understands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
attitudes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
experience can
be acquired
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
opens their mind to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
. Misunderstanding and confusions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
will not happen as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
follow the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Asians, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience and learn western customs when they attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
such as Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Lastly
, maintaining their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with others. The disrespect can
be caused
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
one’s behavior and against local’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adjust their lifestyle with others.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
visitors, who
still
wish to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their national food, will find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to go out to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
food with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sue to the difference of eating habit.

To sum up, in my perspective, I would like to blend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I do not want to be an alien in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.
Moreover
, when I adjust to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
, I
also
can expand my social circle and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
value experience.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer Support your answer with specific details v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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