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When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details. v.1

When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details. v. 1
The use of technology is increasing rapidly in the modern world. Growing technological influence can even be seen in the classroom. Despite this, it is disagreed that technology will completely replace the classroom teacher in the foreseeable future. Analysing the inability of a technology-driven teacher to both cater to student learning needs and instill motivation will show this. Firstly, a teacher powered by artificial intelligence would have difficulty interpreting the educational needs of a classroom of students. For example, Honda Asimov, one of the world’s most advanced robots, has trouble distinguishing simple human emotions. If today’s most advanced artificial intelligence cannot categorize these basic physical cues, it is difficult to believe that a robot could be capable of altering study plans and teaching styles in a dynamic classroom setting. Thus, this makes it clear that a technology-driven teacher is not going to be operational anytime in the near future. Secondly, a robotic teacher would not be able to establish the emotional connection needed to motivate students. The American scientific theory of education plays a good example here. This widely supported theory argues that young learners are most motivated when they share an emotional relationship with their instructor. As most would agree expecting children to form emotional ties to machinery is unrealistic, the argument that technology will replace the teacher in the classroom can be debunked. In summary, a robotic teacher would lack the classroom dynamism and emotional intelligence needed to be an effective instructor. Thus, it is clear why having a class run entirely by a machine is an idea that will not be realized anytime soon. It is predicted that computer technology will not replace traditional human teachers in the foreseeable future
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is increasing
rapidly
in the modern world. Growing technological influence can even be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the classroom. Despite this, it
is disagreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will completely replace the classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the foreseeable future.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the inability of a technology-driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to both cater to student learning needs and instill motivation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this.

Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
powered by artificial intelligence would have difficulty interpreting the educational needs of a classroom of students.
For example
, Honda Asimov, one of the world’s most advanced robots, has trouble distinguishing simple human emotions. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s most advanced artificial intelligence cannot categorize these basic physical cues, it is difficult to believe that a robot could be capable of altering study plans and teaching styles in a dynamic classroom setting.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a technology-driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not going to be operational anytime in the near future.

Secondly
, a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would not be able to establish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
connection needed to motivate students. The American scientific theory of education plays a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here. This
widely
supported theory argues that young learners are most motivated when they share an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
relationship with their instructor. As most would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
expecting children to form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
ties to machinery is unrealistic, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the classroom can
be debunked
.

In summary, a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would lack the classroom dynamism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
intelligence needed to be an effective instructor.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
run
entirely
by a machine is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that will not
be realized
anytime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. It
is predicted
that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not replace traditional human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the foreseeable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
future
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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