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when looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you feel or the money you get? v.1

when looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you feel or the money you get? v. 1
The rapid climatic changes over the last few years have caused severe global warming all over the planet. As a result, the world is facing the serious danger of global warming due to the fast increase of the earth's temperature. Consequently, the effects are far reaching, long lasting and devastating. As illustrated by, severe drought and famine, melting of polar ice caps, extreme weather events and rise in sea levels, the results are way more dangerous and life threatening. In this essay I will discuss the several factors causing the adversity and the measures that governments and people can take to fight the issue. Firstly, we need to understand the causes of global warming. Only then we will be able to control it. To mention a few points, one of the biggest factors is Air pollution. The late 20th century has observed a sharp increase in industrialisation and the direct negative impact is the pollution of the air. Increased levels of carbon - dioxide has caused the rise of temperature by the process of green house effect. Deforestation is another big cause. Clearing forests and cutting down trees have not only disturbed the levels of oxygen in the atmosphere, but also have significantly resulted in the increase of the earth's temperature. As revealed by the recent bushfires in the Amazon rain forest, the temperature of the region has increased by several degrees. Chloro-fluoro-carbon (CFC) interfere with the atmosphere and causes depletion of the ozone layer protecting the planet. In turn, the harmful Ultra violet rays of the sun to penetrates the atmosphere and leads to sharp and rapid changes in the climate. For example, in the United States, the burning of fossil fuels to make electricity is the largest source of heat-trapping pollution, producing about two billion tons of CO2 every year. Moreover, coal burning power plants are also major contributors. Once we identify the causes of the problem, we can take measures to reduce it. The governments and media all over the world have a huge role in raising awareness and educating people about the ill-effects of global warming. We should resort to Reduce-Reuse-Recycle policy. As individuals, we can reduce our needs to buy new products as a means to reduce waste production and consider using eco-friendly products. The governments should promote recycling papers which means, decrease in the number of trees chopped down. People should be conscious and reuse bottles, plastic containers and cups, rather than just throwing them away after one use. For instance, Sweden has taken excellent measures to manage waste and henceforth, have been successful in bringing down the waste production by 70%. Incentives and discounts given by government agencies and energy companies make solar energy more affordable for people. In the case of Germany, the government has installed solar panels all over the country. Thus, over the last 5 years, 65% of the country have been relying on green energy. We can all put in our share of effort by doing a simple act of planting more trees. In a nutshell, to conclude, global warming poses a serious threat to the environment and the future. Changing lifestyles, industrialisation, deforestation, over population and mining have acted as catalysts in the raising the levels of CO2, methane and other greenhouse gases. Due to which, the earth has got a lot hotter. To prevent global warming, both governments and individuals should undertake responsibility and raise awareness about the issue. The use of eco-friendly alternatives, solar power plants, renewable fuels and clean energy should be encouraged. Additionally, we should be more careful and save energy by using public transport, buying energy-efficient appliances, conserving water and switching off lights and other electronic devices. To stop global warming, all of us, will have to act together and share our duties. Only then, we can build a better world and save the future.
The rapid climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the last few years have caused severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the planet.
As a result
, the world is facing the serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
increase of the earth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
.
Consequently
, the effects are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
far reaching
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
and devastating. As illustrated by, severe drought and famine, melting of polar ice caps, extreme weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and rise in sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
, the results are way more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and life threatening. In this essay I will discuss the several factors causing the adversity and the measures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take to fight the issue.

Firstly
, we need to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then we will be able to control it. To mention a few points, one of the biggest factors is Air pollution. The late 20th century has observed a sharp increase in
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
and the direct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact is the pollution of the air. Increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of carbon
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
dioxide has caused the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
by the process of green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect. Deforestation is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
. Clearing forests and cutting down trees have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disturbed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of oxygen in the atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have
significantly
resulted in the increase of the earth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
. As revealed by the recent bushfires in the Amazon rain forest, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of the region has increased by several degrees.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chloro-fluoro-carbon
(CFC) interfere with the atmosphere and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
depletion of the ozone layer protecting the planet. In turn, the harmful Ultra violet rays of the sun to penetrates the atmosphere and leads to sharp and rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the climate.
For example
, in the United States, the burning of fossil fuels to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
electricity is the largest source of heat-trapping pollution, producing about two billion tons of CO2 every year.
Moreover
, coal burning power plants are
also
major contributors.

Once we identify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of the problem, we can take measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and media all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world have a huge role in raising awareness and educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the ill-effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. We should resort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduce
-Reuse-Recycle policy. As individuals, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new products as a means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
waste production and consider using eco-friendly products. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should promote recycling papers which means, decrease in the number of trees chopped down.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should be conscious and reuse bottles, plastic containers and cups,
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
throwing them away after one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
, Sweden has taken excellent measures to manage waste and henceforth, have been successful in bringing down the waste production by 70%. Incentives and discounts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agencies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
more affordable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the case of Germany, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has installed solar panels all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the country.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the last 5 years, 65% of the country have been relying on green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. We can all put in our share of effort by doing a simple act of planting more trees.

In a nutshell,
to conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
poses a serious threat to the environment and the future. Changing lifestyles,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, deforestation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
population and mining have acted as catalysts in the raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of CO2, methane and other greenhouse gases. Due to which, the earth has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a lot hotter. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals should undertake responsibility and raise awareness about the issue. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of eco-friendly alternatives, solar power plants, renewable fuels and clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
should
be encouraged
.
Additionally
, we should be more careful and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
by using public transport, buying energy-efficient appliances, conserving water and switching off lights and other electronic devices. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, all of us, will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act together and share our duties.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then, we can build a better world and save the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay when looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you feel or the money you get? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
642 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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