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q2-practice 6When looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you will feel while doing the job or the money you will earn? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v.1

q2-practice 6When looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you will feel while doing the job or the money you will earn? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 1
For a long time, museums have played a major role in preserving materials of historical importance. Some people hold the view that it should only exhibit objects, which belong to its country instead of others. Personally, I fairly disagree with this idea for a number of reasons. On the one hand, people believe local artefacts should be given priority for some particular purposes. The first one is local museum should be a place which honours and conveys historical values of the land where it is located. The artefacts it conversed could represent an ancient period of regional history, which could increase patriotism in the locals’ mind. Moreover, it is essential for indigenous people to have an insight into their own history and heritage before learning the others. In addition to this, for travellers, they go to the museum in order to have a glimpse of the cultures, traditions and history of the nation it belongs. For instance, it would be a disappointment if they go to Vietnam, but see more works from abroad than local antiques. On the other hand, although some people are against this idea, I am of the view that displaying international works of art has one main merit. It is that it helps diversify the content of the museums and galleries. This would give residents and visitors a chance to enrich their understanding about artworks, and therefore, could broaden their horizon of the world from historical and cultural aspects. In conclusion, my view is that the ultimate goal of museums and galleries is to spread knowledge of all kinds, nevertheless museums and art galleries should make masterpieces of their own country more dominant than the works of the other parts of the world.
For a long time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have played a major role in preserving materials of historical importance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exhibit objects, which belong to its country
instead
of others.
Personally
, I
fairly
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for a number of reasons.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular purposes. The
first
one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should be a place which
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
and conveys historical values of the land where it
is located
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
it conversed could represent an ancient period of regional history, which could increase patriotism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals’
mind.
Moreover
, it is essential for indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have an insight into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history and heritage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
learning the others.
In addition
to this, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, they go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in order to have a glimpse of the cultures, traditions and history of the nation it belongs.
For instance
, it would be a disappointment if they go to Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more works from abroad than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
antiques.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are against this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I am of the view that displaying international works of art has one main merit. It is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
diversify the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and galleries. This would give residents and visitors a chance to enrich their understanding about artworks, and
therefore
, could broaden their horizon of the world from historical and cultural aspects.

In conclusion
, my view is that the ultimate goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and galleries is to spread knowledge of all kinds,
nevertheless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and art galleries should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
masterpieces of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country more dominant than the works of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q2-practice 6When looking for a job, what do you consider more important: the joy you will feel while doing the job or the money you will earn? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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