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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should always show their strong emotions (such as excitement, anger, joy). Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

: People should always show their strong emotions (such as excitement, anger, joy). Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
Acquiring personal House and conveyance at any stage of the life is the most desired dream of every individual. In recent years travelling by own car has been increased as compared to a few decades ago. In this essay I will discuss about the difficulties caused by having everyone car and provide solutions to reduce such hazards. Most of us believe, that everyday increasing number of automobiles have many problems. To commence with, the most important issue, which is hurting mankind at global level is global warming. These cars produce a lot of pollution, which is contributing in damaging the overall environment. In addition to this, we are all facing now a days is traffic jams. For instance, in my city Rawalpindi roads we designed to cater certain amount of traffic, but with a disproportionate increase of vehicles, we all usually face traffic jams. Moreover, everyone driving his own car has cost to it. Which is directly connected to the economy of the country. For example, when the majority of us are travelling by our own cars we are burning fuel and it eventually contributes to increase of our country’s import bill as we import oil from other nations, thus owning a car is not a viable solution. However, aforementioned problems can be resolved by taking different measures at government level. First of all, government can improve intercity and intra city public transport. They can encourage investors to invest in this sector to provide affordable and comfortable service to the masses. Moreover, they can impose high taxes on vehicle purchase and fuel to discourage the people to buy their own cars. For example, the government of Pakistan has implemented a policy to tax a car on the basis of their engine size, which can raise up to 300 percent tax on big luxury vehicles. Therefore, cost of huge vehicles is out of budget for most of our countrymen. In conclusion, if we want to save the environment for future generations, there must be a joint effort of government and people in discouraging the use of personal cars and encouraging various methods discussed above for better life quality and a healthier environment
Acquiring personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
and conveyance at any stage of the life is the most desired dream of every individual. In recent years travelling by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
been increased
as compared to a few decades ago. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
difficulties caused by having everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and provide solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such hazards.

Most of us believe, that everyday increasing number of automobiles have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. To commence with, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue, which is hurting mankind at global level is global warming. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pollution, which is contributing in damaging the
overall
environment.
In addition
to this, we are all facing
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
is traffic jams.
For instance
, in my city Rawalpindi roads we designed to cater certain amount of traffic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a disproportionate increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, we all
usually
face traffic jams.
Moreover
, everyone driving his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has cost to it. Which is
directly
connected to the economy of the country.
For example
, when the majority of us are travelling by our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
we are burning fuel and it
eventually
contributes to increase of our country’s import bill as we import oil from other nations,
thus
owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is not a viable solution.

However
, aforementioned problems can
be resolved
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
measures at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
level.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
intercity and
Possible spelling mistake found.
intra
city public transport. They can encourage investors to invest in this sector to provide affordable and comfortable service to the masses.
Moreover
, they can impose high taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and fuel to discourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Pakistan has implemented a policy to tax a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
on the basis of their engine size, which can raise up to 300 percent tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
Therefore
, cost of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is out of budget for most of our countrymen.

In conclusion
, if we want to save the environment for future generations, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a joint effort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in discouraging the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and encouraging various methods discussed above for better life quality and a healthier environment
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay : People should always show their strong emotions (such as excitement, anger, joy). Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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