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TPO18 Q2Friends or family are most influence on yound adults? Whcih one do you agree with and Y? v.1

TPO18 Q2Friends or family are most influence on yound adults? Whcih one do you agree with and Y? v. 1
Advertising has been realized as a significant motivator behind people’s purchases. But sometimes advertising influence the audience to buy the products that they do not need and sometimes it is also used to misrepresent the products to enhance the sales. To counter these problems, the prime role is of the regulatory authorities to stop the misleading advertising and secondly, buyers should always make a utility analysis before purchasing any marketed good. The continuous overflow of sponsored ads on television and social media apps claiming exclusive benefits sometimes persuade people to make the unnecessary purchases. These purchases though benefiting the seller, pose a financial cost on the purchaser which is avoidable and can be used for some other vital purpose. In addition to this, to win over the competitors, the advertisers also use unethical tactics to sell their commodities. As in Pakistan, brands including Tarang and Everyday were claiming to be the best milk for tea, until when Pakistan’s Food Authority took legal action against them. They then altered the caption by stating them as just tea whiteners and not milk. People should always make a rational analysis before buying any commodity, so that they do not fall prey of the attractive advertising. As according to a recent marketing survey on Facebook, many people accepted that they bought things being advertised on the social media platforms through attractive campaigns which were not required by them. Thus, cost-benefit analysis and utility of the product should be assessed to make the right buying decision. Additionally, to counter the deceptive marketing campaigns by the companies, strict policies with heavy penalties should be imposed by the concerned regulatory bodies. In conclusion, the companies use advertisements as one of the prime means to attract the prospective buyers. However, sometimes these smart promotions indulge people in unwanted purchases which should be avoided by always making a calculated choice. Additionally, companies also try to benefit by making sales through misleading ads, where strict actions are needed by the establishment to keep people safe from the misrepresentations.
Advertising has
been realized
as a significant motivator behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
advertising influence the audience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products that they do not need and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to misrepresent the products to enhance the sales. To counter these problems, the prime role is of the regulatory authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the misleading advertising and
secondly
, buyers should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a utility analysis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing any marketed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

The continuous overflow of sponsored ads on television and social media apps claiming exclusive benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
though benefiting the seller, pose a financial cost on the purchaser which is avoidable and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other vital purpose.
In addition
to this, to win over the competitors, the advertisers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unethical tactics to sell their commodities. As in Pakistan, brands including
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tarang
and
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
Everyday
were claiming to be the best milk for tea, until when Pakistan’s Food Authority took legal action against them. They then altered the caption by stating them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
tea whiteners and not milk.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a rational analysis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any commodity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not fall prey of the attractive advertising. As according to a recent marketing survey on Facebook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
things
being advertised
on the social media platforms through attractive campaigns which were not required by them.
Thus
, cost-benefit analysis and utility of the product should
be assessed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the right buying decision.
Additionally
, to counter the deceptive marketing campaigns by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, strict policies with heavy penalties should
be imposed
by the concerned regulatory bodies.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advertisements as one of the prime means to attract the prospective buyers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
these smart promotions indulge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
which should
be avoided
by always making a calculated choice.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
try to benefit by making sales through misleading ads, where strict actions
are needed
by the establishment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
safe from the misrepresentations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO18 Q2Friends or family are most influence on yound adults? Whcih one do you agree with and Y? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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