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When have you been happily surprised by something? Describe the experience and say why the surprise was a happy one for you. v.1

When have you been happily surprised by something? Describe the experience and say why the surprise was a happy one for you. v. 1
Children who begin to study a foreign language at primary school is better than in secondary school. Apart from this, children can learn and remember faster, therefore it is better to teach them a foreign language at these ages. According to my observation, my younger sister who migrated at Taiwan at the age of 6, learned the Mandarin dialect in just 6 months. Thus, my claim is correct. In this case, there are disadvantages when a child begins learning a foreign language like they can mix it to their mother tongue. Nonetheless, they can easily catch up and become fluent in both of the dialect. As a result, they can learn 3 dialects from different countries. Proof of this, I learned Tagalog and English at the age of 1. Firstly, my family is speaking to me with our mother tongue which is Tagalog but at the same time English. My storybooks and nursery rhymes that I watched every day is English. Therefore, I become fluent in a very young youth in both. To conclude, these advantages can outweigh the disadvantages as of a child uses the right side of the brain that is used for remembering, analytics and mathematics. On the other hand, teenager and adult use a different side of the brain when they study another foreign speech. With this in mind, it is better to teach a child when they are young because they can remember it until they grow up. Not only the different countries' mother tongue, but also teach them in another field of subject such as Science and Mathematics.
Children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language at primary school is better than in secondary school. Apart from this, children can learn and remember faster,
therefore
it is better to teach them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language at these ages. According to my observation, my younger sister who migrated at Taiwan at the age of 6, learned the Mandarin dialect in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
6 months.
Thus
, my claim is correct.

In this case
, there are disadvantages when a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language like they can mix it to their mother tongue. Nonetheless, they can
easily
catch up and become fluent in both of the dialect.
As a result
, they can learn 3 dialects from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Proof of this, I learned Tagalog and English at the age of 1.
Firstly
, my family is speaking to me with our mother tongue which is Tagalog
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time English. My storybooks and nursery rhymes that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
every day is English.
Therefore
, I become fluent in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young youth in both.

To conclude
, these advantages can outweigh the disadvantages as of a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the right side of the brain
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for remembering, analytics and mathematics.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
side of the brain when they study another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
speech. With this in mind, it is better to teach a child when they are young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can remember it until they grow up. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries' mother tongue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach them in another field of subject such as Science and Mathematics.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay When have you been happily surprised by something? Describe the experience and say why the surprise was a happy one for you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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