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You planned to throw a surprise party for your father on his 60th birthday. Write a letter to your aunt, in your letter, write-•Invite her to the surprise party•Explain why this party means a lot to you•Say what you want to bring with her v.1

You planned to throw a surprise party for your father on his 60th birthday. Write a letter to your aunt, in your letter, write-•Invite her to the surprise party•Explain why this party means a lot to you•Say what you want to bring with her v. 1
With the growing competition, the children's ability to read is dramatically reduced. Although, some parents want their children to read course related books so that they can get good grades, others argue that children should be allowed to read according to their interests. I believe that both educational and entertainment books are important in children’s knowledge regarding different aspects of life. Many studies prove that the children reading books as per their interests, have a larger range of vocabulary and wider knowledge. Furthermore, reading books from various genres helps children identify their field of interest. In fact, painting and colouring books may develop a child's interest in the arts and other creative fields. By reading novels, short stories and friction, children can develop their creativity and imagination skills. In addition to that, children might learn many life skills by engaging themselves in reading entertainment books. For instance, social behaviour might not be taught in the curriculum, however a child might learn how to behave at a certain social event, by reading books. Nevertheless, with the rise in competition, parents want only the best for their children. So they encourage their children to read course related books because it’s beneficial for their career. From a parent's point of view, books related to courses can help children to score higher marks and secure their future. In conclusion, reading helps improves child's memory, increases concentration levels and helps develop their overall personality. In my opinion, parents should not limit their children to read course books, but encourage them to read and get engaged in entertainment books as well, thus keeping a balance.
With the growing competition, the children's ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
is
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. I believe that both educational and entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
knowledge regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies prove that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as per their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, have a larger range of vocabulary and wider knowledge.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from various genres
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
identify their field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. In fact, painting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
may develop a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the arts and other creative fields. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
novels, short stories and friction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop their creativity and imagination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by engaging themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
For instance
, social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
might not
be taught
in the curriculum,
however
a child might learn how to behave at a certain social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books.

Nevertheless
, with the rise in competition, parents want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s beneficial for their career. From a parent's point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to score higher marks and secure their future.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
child's memory, increases concentration levels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
develop their
overall
personality. In my opinion, parents should not limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged in entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as well
,
thus
keeping a balance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You planned to throw a surprise party for your father on his 60th birthday. Write a letter to your aunt, in your letter, write-•Invite her to the surprise party•Explain why this party means a lot to you•Say what you want to bring with her v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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