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When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v.1

When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v. 1
Today, a majority of people are inclined to prefer starting up their own company to working for an agency. The start-up trend provides opportunities for entrepreneurs to manage its operations and make more incomes. Meanwhile, they may face some drawbacks of business coming from the capital investment and tax policies. The prevalence of start-up among individuals make the national business more booming and flourishing. First and foremost, due to the high surge in employment from public sectors, entrepreneurs aspire to sustain their positions by conducting the general structure of their companies, including human resources and strategies for making more financial profits. Secondly, they have right to deal with working processes at any time in accordance to their control as long as its services fulfil the best requirements of the various customers. For example, most English centres start to work on time schedules different from the other public schools, so the staffs are able to put great efforts on improving learning outcomes for their members and they cling onto the learners’ good results to make monthly revenue. Finally, the entrepreneurship leads the proper development for managers not only to enhance their prestige, but also to motivate the contribution to the economic growth. There are a lot of challenges to self-employment in terms of the tax and financial values. As a result of fixed levy payment, the company has to do their best to make as much as money as possible for both monthly expenses and its whole profits. This has resulted in overtime working among officers to direct the business strategies in different periods and promote the advertisement for customer attractions. The high prices on advertising give fruitful results to the company’s earnings for the time being, although the sustainable growth in economic value has always been the top priority. Therefore, the difficulties should always be passed with incentives for maintaining their operations. In conclusion, entrepreneurship causes benefits and challenges to those who start up. In spite of a contribution to fostering the economic growth, private sectors must always enhance their sustainable development with significant efforts.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inclined
to prefer starting up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to working for an agency. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up trend provides opportunities for entrepreneurs to manage its operations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more incomes. Meanwhile, they may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of business coming from the capital investment and tax policies.

The prevalence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up among individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the national business more booming and flourishing.
First
and foremost, due to the high surge in employment from public sectors, entrepreneurs aspire to sustain their positions by conducting the general structure of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, including human resources and strategies for making more financial profits.
Secondly
, they have right to deal with working processes at any time in accordance to their control as long as its services fulfil the best requirements of the various customers.
For example
, most English
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to work on time schedules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the other public schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the staffs are able to put great efforts on improving learning outcomes for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
they cling onto the learners’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
monthly revenue.
Finally
, the entrepreneurship leads the proper development for managers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to enhance their prestige,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to motivate the contribution to the economic growth.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges to self-employment in terms of the tax and financial values.
As a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
levy payment, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do their best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
as much as money as possible for both monthly expenses and its whole profits. This has resulted in overtime working among officers to direct the business strategies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
periods and promote the advertisement for customer attractions. The high prices on advertising give fruitful results to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
earnings for the time being, although the sustainable growth in economic value has always been the top priority.
Therefore
, the difficulties should always
be passed
with incentives for maintaining their operations.

In conclusion
, entrepreneurship causes benefits and challenges to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
a contribution to fostering the economic growth, private sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always enhance their sustainable development with significant efforts.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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