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Some people say that it is individual’s responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government’s primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that it is individual’s responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government’s primary role. v. 1
Our exposure to a vast amount of information has greatly increased with the advent of the internet. I strongly believe that, this is the best thing that happened to humans. This essay would further highlight the way technology has changed the traditional way of learning and then discuss it helping us to be aware and informed about things we are interested in. The internet has revolutionized education. It has opened various pathways of getting knowledge, encouraged distance learning; people can learn or attend institutions while being thousand of miles away, even from the comfort of their homes. For example, the advent of websites like Edx, Coursera, Udemy and many others have helped people gain an education, develop professionally and further connected individuals with ivy league schools and courses which ordinarily they may not have access to. Secondly, the internet has helped in the connection of our world, the world we know now is a global village. It has played a major role in bridging the gap between people of various nations and continents. For instance, social networking sites like Facebook have assisted people in locating various relatives and friends they have lost contact with, with just the click of the search button and input of their name. Also, events have been aired from a particular part of the world and viewed by millions all over the world. One does not need to be physically present before you can view these events anymore, you can watch them in real time. One of such events, is the English premier league which is viewed and followed by millions of football fans all over the world irrespective of the language spoken. In conclusion, as human continue to use technology and its benefits, it continues to evolve.
Our exposure to a vast amount of information has
greatly
increased with the advent of the internet. I
strongly
believe that, this is the best thing that happened to humans. This essay would
further
highlight the way technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the traditional way of learning and then discuss it helping us to be aware and informed about things we
are interested
in.

The internet has revolutionized education. It has opened various pathways of getting knowledge, encouraged distance learning;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn or attend institutions while being
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of miles away, even from the comfort of their homes.
For example
, the advent of websites like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edx
, Coursera, Udemy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain an education, develop
professionally
and
further
connected individuals with ivy league schools and courses which
ordinarily
they may not have access to.

Secondly
, the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in the connection of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
we know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is a global village. It has played a major role in bridging the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various nations and continents.
For instance
, social networking sites like Facebook have assisted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in locating various relatives and friends they have lost contact with, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the click of the search button and input of their name.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
have
been aired
from a particular part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and viewed by millions all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. One does not need to be
physically
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you can view these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
anymore, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them in real time. One of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, is the English
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
premier league
which
is viewed
and followed by millions of football fans all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
irrespective of the language spoken.

In conclusion
, as human continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology and its benefits, it continues to evolve.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people say that it is individual’s responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government’s primary role. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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