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When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v.2

When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v. 2
The introduction of computer in the end of nineteenth century is a landmark for mankind by changing the way people work and interact with each others. Although much debate claim that computer might have made people less happy and more stupid, I am the opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that computer helps people becoming more creative and more productive in doing their daily work and will explain the points in the following essay. First of all, the use of computer assist people in doing all kind of calculation in much faster way and precisely. This unique aspect of a computer allow user to get rid of the ordinary repetitive work and focus on creative and productive work. For example, in the 1950s accountant have to do the calculation and report mainly on actual paper. This long and harsh processes taking up most of their time, therefore they could not have free time to conduct intricate work. However, with computer and sofware such as Exel, accountant nowadays could finished their task rather easy and spend the spare time concentrating on creative task. Secondly, a computer also help people to access information faster and more accurate. By being conntected to the internet, computer user could get access to all sort of database and retrieve the information that they wanted. For instance, student study in university could stay at home and still able to get the relevant data on the subject of their interest rather easy. In addition, they could also verify the integrity of the information by cross-checking various sources that widely available in the internet. This allows student to be more informative in doing their research. In conclusion, the advent of technology, in this case, the introduction of computer has brought great advantages to people by providing them the ability to do their work precisely and creatively while still maintaning the accuracy and integrity.
The introduction of computer in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of nineteenth century is a landmark for mankind by changing the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and interact with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. Although much debate claim that computer might have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less happy and more stupid, I am the opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming more creative and more productive in doing their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the points in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in doing all kind of calculation in much faster way and
precisely
. This unique aspect of a computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
user to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the ordinary repetitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and focus on creative and productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, in the 1950s accountant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the calculation and report
mainly
on actual paper. This long and harsh processes taking up most of their time,
therefore
they could not have free time to conduct intricate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, with computer and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sofware
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Exel
, accountant nowadays could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "finish"
finished
their task
rather
easy and spend the spare time concentrating on creative task.

Secondly
, a computer
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access information faster and more accurate. By being
Possible spelling mistake found.
conntected
to the internet, computer user could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to all sort of database and retrieve the information that they wanted.
For instance
, student study in university could stay at home and
still
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the relevant data on the subject of their interest
rather
easy.
In addition
, they could
also
verify the integrity of the information by cross-checking various sources that
widely
available
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
student to be more informative in doing their research.

In conclusion
, the advent of technology,
in this case
, the introduction of computer has brought great advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing them the ability to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
precisely
and
creatively
while
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaning
the accuracy and integrity.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay When computers first appeared on the scene, it was thought they would make us more productive in providing goods and services, smarter and possibly happier. Skeptics claim that the opposite is true as computers have proved disappointing in terms of product v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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