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Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v.1

Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v. 1
Pupils should pay entire college fee to the educational institutes, as it profits them greatly than the community. I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will explain 2 fundamental reasons why undergraduates or postgraduates can be relaxed from fee charges. Firstly, the government should provide free educational service for the Social growth of the nation. When students are supported by the society they become more responsible, and they thrive to get good results, thereby, as an outcome, they settle well in their professions. Furthermore, graduates also build a sense to develop their nation as they were given an opportunity to explore academics. To illustrate, BBC reported that when the state government of a nation in Asia had provided costless education, 80% of the professionals have contributed towards social causes such as organising medical campaigns, conducting free professional courses, providing jobs to unemployed, etc. Moreover, they have also donated money to the government agencies for community development. Another essential factor for the governments to invest on educating adults is for economic progress of the country. More and more leaders in various fields can be produced when individuals gain knowledge through advanced studies, this is because graduates turn into knowledgeable and wise individuals, and thereby they are provided with great employment opportunities, as a result, this will impact in economic development. For Example, Times reported that there is a high variance in per capita income of regions who provide fee tertiary education versus regions who charge fees for pupils with a former population set producing high income. In conclusion, while students are gifted with an opportunity to study it will not only benefit them, but they are transformed into assets to the nation since they pay back to the society while contributing towards social and economic development. Therefore, students should not be deprived of education due to financial factors.
Pupils should pay entire college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
to the educational institutes, as it profits them
Use "(greatly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
greatly
than the community. I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
2 fundamental reasons why undergraduates or postgraduates can
be relaxed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
charges.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide free educational service for the Social growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. When students
are supported
by the society they become more responsible, and they thrive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results, thereby, as an outcome, they settle well in their professions.
Furthermore
, graduates
also
build a sense to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to explore academics. To illustrate, BBC reported that when the state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in Asia had provided
Possible spelling mistake found.
costless
education, 80% of the professionals have contributed towards social causes such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
medical campaigns, conducting free professional courses, providing jobs to unemployed, etc.
Moreover
, they have
also
donated money to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agencies for community development.

Another essential factor for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to invest on educating adults is for economic progress of the country. More and more leaders in various fields can
be produced
when individuals gain knowledge through advanced studies, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
graduates turn into knowledgeable and wise individuals, and thereby they
are provided
with great employment opportunities,
as a result
, this will impact in economic development.
For Example
, Times reported that there is a high variance in per capita income of regions who provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
tertiary education versus regions who charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for pupils with a former population set producing high income.

In conclusion
, while students
are gifted
with an opportunity to study it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are transformed
into assets to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
since they pay back to the society while contributing towards social and economic development.
Therefore
, students should not
be deprived
of education due to financial factors.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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