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When communicating with your friends and families, you can rely on letters, email or telephone calls. Which method of communicating do you think isbetter and why? v.1

When communicating with your friends and families, you can rely on letters, email or telephone calls. Which method of communicating do you think isbetter and why? v. 1
It is now a common occurrence for families to migrate to a new country. Although it is believed that this can benefit the young ones, others think this decision might be extremely difficult for a child in a new country. In my opinion, I believe that moving to a new nation will be of immense benefit to a child. On the one hand, in order to give their children more sound education, parents tend to move them to another country. This is because it is possible that the present place of residence of an individual might not be beneficial academically to a child, in this situation fathers and mothers could consider a move to other countries whose primary focus is standard learning for the child. For example, it is now a common trend for parents in Nigeria to relocate to more developed countries like Canada in order to improve the quality of education received by the child. In my opinion, I believe in order to ensure that a child receives optimal education, the parents can move to another country as this can help build a brighter future for the child. On the other hand, others think that this big move might be hard for a child because of the psychological effect it might create. This is because a move to a new place means a change of environment and friends and the young one might find it difficult to adapt to this, thus, resulting in loneliness which could inadvertently lead to depression in the offspring. For example, the WHO reported a surge in depression among children in 2018 as a result of relocation to a new state. In conclusion, although relocating a child to a new state might have a depressing effect on a child, I believe that parents relocate their children in order to afford them a better education which might not be available in their present state.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a common occurrence for families to migrate to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although it
is believed
that this can benefit the young ones, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
extremely
difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, I believe that moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
nation will be of immense benefit to a child.

On the one hand, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to give their children more sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
them to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is possible that the present place of residence of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be beneficial
academically
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, in this situation fathers and mothers could consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose primary focus is standard learning for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a common trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in Nigeria to relocate to more developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Canada in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
received by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. In my opinion, I believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to ensure that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
receives optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a brighter future for the child.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the psychological effect it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
create. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place means a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of environment and friends and the young one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
find it difficult to adapt to this,
thus
, resulting in loneliness which could
inadvertently
lead to depression in the offspring.
For example
, the WHO reported a surge in depression among children in 2018
as a result
of relocation to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
state.

In conclusion
, although relocating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a depressing effect on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
relocate their children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to afford them a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be available in their present state.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay When communicating with your friends and families, you can rely on letters, email or telephone calls. Which method of communicating do you think isbetter and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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