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The two pie charts below show the pollution entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007 v.1

The two pie charts below show the pollution entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007 v. 1
People are now becoming health conscious than earlier ages due to the vulnerability of diseases is also high. It is proved that balanced meals and regular physical activities to determine the health of human beings, hence their stress could be curbed. This essay will discuss in detail what people in my country should do in order to keep a better health. First, never would anyone become healthy unless having a regular diet including required nutrition such as protein, vitamin and calcium. Fortunately, our country is an island which owns a large area of ocean with huge amount of fish to obtain enough protein and calcium. Furthermore, as an agricultural state, Lanka is rich in fresh fruits and vegetables for the citizens. However, it is told by medical professionals, although Sri Lankans has enough nutritious food, they often take meals at irregular times. It would be the cause of many issues in digesting system that has been reported over the last few years. Hence, people should receive meals within regular gaps in time. In this way, they can improve health through fresh foods having them in regularly. Secondly, the significance of exercise in health cannot be neglected because people consume considerable time without doing any physical activity nowadays in this country. Hardly would working class involve in regular exercise as they are unable to reserve spare time. It is an adverse effect on health of youngsters. To illustrate, recent research revealed that two of every ten Sri Lankan are overweight due to less work outs. Therefore, we should burn calories by involving numerous physical activities. Fortunately, the government has developed jogging tracks where people can access them easily. Thus, citizens can jog in free time after office work. Further, Sri Lankans can get rid of breathing issues reported recently, by regular swimming. In a nutshell, regular food intake and physical interaction are the paramount habits that every Sri Lankan should practice. Obviously, fresh food is widely available in the country to prepare meals on time. Finally, citizens should use available workout options such as jogging and swimming to reduce stress and obesity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Use "(conscious)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
conscious
than earlier ages due to the vulnerability of diseases is
also
high. It
is proved
that balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities to determine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of human beings,
hence
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
could
be curbed
. This essay will discuss in detail what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should do in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a better health.

First
, never would anyone become healthy unless having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
diet including required nutrition such as protein, vitamin and calcium.
Fortunately
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is an island which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a large area of ocean with huge amount of fish to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
protein and calcium.
Furthermore
, as an agricultural state, Lanka is rich in fresh fruits and vegetables for the citizens.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by medical professionals, although Sri
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lankans
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at irregular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. It would be the cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues in digesting system that has
been reported
over the last few years.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
gaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In this way, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
through fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
having them in
regularly
.

Secondly
, the significance of exercise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
cannot
be neglected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without doing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity nowadays in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Hardly would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "work"
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
exercise as they are unable to reserve spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of youngsters. To illustrate, recent research revealed that two of every ten Sri Lankan are overweight due to less work outs.
Therefore
, we should burn calories by involving numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.
Fortunately
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has developed jogging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access them
easily
.
Thus
, citizens can jog in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after office work.
Further
, Sri
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lankans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of breathing issues reported recently, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
swimming.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
intake and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
interaction are the paramount habits that every Sri Lankan should practice.
Obviously
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
widely
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Finally
, citizens should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
available workout options such as jogging and swimming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and obesity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The two pie charts below show the pollution entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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