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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v.21

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 21
Employee hiring and retention are two utmost important tasks of Human Resource department of modern enterprises. Organisations spend a great deal of money studying the reasons of attrition. And many of them conclude that compensation is the biggest reason why an employee accepts a job offer. I too think that salary is the most important motivating factor for one to accept an offer. Firstly, one needs to understand the motive why anyone looks for employment. It is obvious that one does a job to earn money, to support his family and so that he can lead a good life. With time, everyone's need changes and one top of this, inflation makes things increasingly unaffordable. An employee starts looking outside when he finds himself stretching to meet his family need. Second reason is that when an employee feels he is not paid enough he would start finding a new job. Infosys Technology's HR department's exit interview, when they try to find the reasons why an employee has left the job, data reveals that 80% of people leaving job has the salary as the first reason. This shows that compensation plays the biggest role in employee's decision of switching job or taking new offer. However, there are many other important reasons why one selects a job such as work-life balance, the opportunity to rise in the organisation's hierarchy, work culture etc. Study by Bangalore human resource organisation revealed that 50% employees provide non-salary as one of the reasons for taking a new offer. From my personal experience, I have seen many of my colleagues taking a new offer in search of other better opportunity or to switch career. Therefore, we can safely conclude that salary is not the only consideration while choosing new job but it is the topmost reason why one takes a new job offer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employee
hiring and retention are two utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks of Human Resource department of modern enterprises.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisations' is British English.
Organisations
spend a great deal of money studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of attrition. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them conclude that compensation is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
accepts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
.
Consider using commas to set off 'too', if you want to emphasize an abrupt change of thought.
I too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that salary is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
motivating factor for one to accept an offer.

Firstly
, one needs to understand the motive why anyone looks for employment. It is obvious that one does a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to earn money, to support his family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can lead a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life. With time, everyone's need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and one top of this, inflation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
things
increasingly
unaffordable. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
looking outside when he finds himself stretching to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his family need. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
feels he is not paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
Technology's HR department's exit interview, when they try to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, data reveals that 80% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has the salary as the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that compensation plays the biggest role in employee's decision of switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
offer.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why one selects a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such as work-life balance, the opportunity to rise in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
's hierarchy, work culture etc. Study by Bangalore human resource
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
revealed that 50%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
provide non-salary as one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
. From my personal experience, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my colleagues taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
in search of other better opportunity or to switch career.

Therefore
, we can
safely
conclude that salary is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consideration while choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the topmost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why one takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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