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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v.19

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 19
The salary is regarded as one of the most important factors while making a choice between jobs. Salary is the real outcome of the job performed and hence it becomes a prominent part in job selection. However, I completely disagree that salary is the most important part of choosing a job. Job satisfaction and career growth are equally important aspects of the job to be considered. I shall prove these parts in following paragraphs with more details. Most people give preference to job satisfaction over the salary. Job satisfaction includes work-life balance, vacation, quality work and many more parameters. It is scientifically proven that job satisfaction adds to well-being and happiness to human lives. For example, a person earning less will be happier than the person earning big bucks but going through extreme stress and pressure at a workplace. Thus, job satisfaction should be considered as an important factor while choosing a job. People also give equal importance to career growth when it comes to selecting a job. Promotions, new skills, job responsibilities are some of the parts of career growth. People tend to give importance to these attributes of the job as it becomes path breaker for their future career.   For example, sometimes more salary can be only claimed if a person is holding a certain level of position in an organisational hierarchy, thus, it becomes vital for people to be considerate about this career growth aspect also. In conclusion, I completely disregard the salary aspect of a job while choosing it. In my view, job satisfaction and career growth should be seen as the most vital aspect while making a choice between jobs. In the modern world, it is advisable to become circumspect about job choices by equally evaluating all aspects of the job.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is regarded
as one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factors while making a choice between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salary
is the real outcome of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
performed and
hence
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection.
However
, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
be considered
. I shall prove these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
in following paragraphs with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
includes work-life balance, vacation, quality work and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more parameters. It is
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to well-being and happiness to human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, a person earning less will be happier than the person earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
bucks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
going through extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure at a workplace.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
should
be considered
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor while choosing a job.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
give equal importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Promotions, new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
responsibilities are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to give importance to these attributes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
path breaker for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
claimed if a person is holding a certain level of position in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
hierarchy,
thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
vital for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be considerate about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
also
.

In conclusion
, I completely disregard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while choosing it. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the most vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
while making a choice between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the modern world, it is advisable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
circumspect about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
choices by
equally
evaluating all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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