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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v.17

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 17
It has been proven that salary has been one of the important factors when people are looking for a job but undeniably, different people have various opinions about their favourite job which are directly depended on people’ ages, their characters, expectation, qualification and the economic situation. In fact, there is an acute difference between aged employees and fresh graduates to find their desired jobs. In another word, the youths consider work experience and want to enhance their abilities when they are choosing a job. While considerably ages and experienced people are looking for the better salary as they have obtained enough skills on their professions. Also, the economic situation is another important factor when people are choosing their jobs. Put another way, some people prefer to have a job with a lower wage while the country is experiencing the shortage of work. For example, these days some European countries such as Greece or Spain are struggling with the bad economic situation and there are lots of unemployed people living there. So these people just want a job no matter how much the salary is. And the last parameter is related to people’s characters. It denotes that people have various requests from their jobs and it is not possible to write a prescription for all of the people on this matter. For instance, some find the work environment as the most important factor of a job, some other pay attention to the quality of relations between colleagues and some just are interested in the figure of the salary. I think, therefore, satisfaction in a job is such a sophisticated issue and it is not logical to believe that the salary is the most important parameter for a good job. Perhaps because of this reason, lots of researches have been conducted to find the best job elements to satisfy employees.
It has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
has been one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factors when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
undeniably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have various opinions about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which are
directly
depended on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
ages, their characters, expectation, qualification and the economic situation.

In fact, there is an acute difference between aged employees and fresh graduates to find their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In another word, the youths consider work experience and want to enhance their abilities when they are choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While
considerably
ages and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as they have obtained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on their professions.

Also
, the economic situation is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Put another way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a lower wage while the country is experiencing the shortage of work.
For example
, these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European countries such as Greece or Spain are struggling with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
economic situation and there are lots of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
no matter how much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is. And the last parameter
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
characters. It denotes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have various requests from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and it is not possible to write a prescription for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on this matter.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
find the work environment as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other pay attention to the quality of relations between colleagues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
are interested
in the figure of the salary.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
therefore
, satisfaction in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is such a sophisticated issue and it is not logical to believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
parameter for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Perhaps
because of this
reason, lots of researches have
been conducted
to find the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
elements to satisfy employees.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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