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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v.16

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 16
Payment from a job is one of the essential aspects for people to consider but it is not the only reason people take a new job or continue the existing one. I personally believe that there are other important considerations while choosing a job. Without any doubt, salary is essential in order for people to survive and a great proportion of people rely on the money they get from their jobs. Most of the job-holders pay for their housing, utility bills, food, treatment, travel, education and so on from the money they get from their employers. It is evident that if employers stop paying the employees, there would be virtually no one left to work in a company. Teaching, sports, painting, politics and research are considered to be professions where passion is more important than money. However, if there is no money at all, I have doubt that anyone would pursue these careers. However, money is not the most important concern for someone to choose a job and there are other important considerations to start and continue a job. Passion and interest to the work, for instance, drive most of the people to work. For instance, many established artists, actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed a great fortune would have stopped working if the sole purpose of working would have been the money. From my personal experience, I can say that while choosing a job people most of the time consider a job they would enjoy rather than the money they would earn from it. Other important aspects, like the job security, career prospect, work environment, relationship with the colleagues and bosses are all important to choose a job. Personally, I would like to have a job that suits my educational background, let me learn and implement my ideas, have a great working environment and then I would consider the money I will get for the job. To conclude, salary is an important aspect for picking a job but other factors in combination play more vital roles and have more significance than the money.
Payment from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is one of the essential aspects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or continue the existing one. I
personally
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
considerations while choosing a job.

Without any doubt, salary is essential in order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to survive and a great proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Most of the job-holders pay for their housing, utility bills, food, treatment, travel, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their employers. It is evident that if employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
paying the employees, there would be
virtually
no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Teaching, sports, painting, politics and research
are considered
to be professions where passion is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
at all, I have doubt that anyone would pursue these careers.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
concern for someone to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
considerations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and continue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Passion and interest to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
for instance
, drive most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
established artists, actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed a great fortune would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working if the sole purpose of working
Did you mean "had been"?
would have been
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. From my personal experience, I can say that while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
most of the time consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they would enjoy
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they would earn from it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspects, like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security, career prospect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, relationship with the colleagues and bosses are all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Personally
, I would like to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that suits my educational background,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me learn and implement my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, have a great working environment and then I would consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for the job.

To conclude
, salary is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect for picking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors in combination play more vital roles and have more significance than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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