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When a new technological device becomes available. Some people buy it right away, while others will wait until many have acquired it. Which do you prefer? v.2

When a new technological device becomes available. Some people buy it right away, while others will wait until many have acquired it. Which do you prefer? v. 2
Technological devices have always been updating for the last decades, and now these devices are constantly changing at a remarkably fast pace. Some people desirously tend to catch up with the latest electronic devices while others prefer to conservatively use not very new ones. Although benefiting from the newest options seem very tempting, I would rather stick to those adopted by the crowd. In what follows I will elaborate on my perspective. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that new arrival e-products usually are astronomically expensive and their prices get more reasonable after a while. This pricing is not necessarily related to their capability and mostly is a result of the trend. Neither sellers nor people obsessed with new gadgets notice the fact that many new arrival products share common features with the old ones. I, however always evaluate new devices’ options and performances first and rarely get convinced to buy them as fast as they get introduced to and distributed in the market. For instance, once I appraised a new smartphone with the previous model of the same brand, and I found it pointless to buy the latest. As a result, I saved roughly one-third of the whole price of the expensive one, and consequently, I could afford to buy a suitable gear for my phone which was an smartwatch. Furthermore, by not using the latest technological device, you can involuntarily carry out an evaluation in which you assess users’ satisfaction of having that special device. Sometimes, some different models of the same products arrive, and I feel I am facing a dilemma of buying the one suiting me the most. In this situation, I do nothing but giving myself plenty of time to ask their consumers whether they are satisfied. My mom once ordered one of the newest wireless headphones from a very well-known brand, but, surprisingly it did not work properly, and it was announced that it would be discontinued. Finally, dealing with a new operating system or devices’ software and applications has always been challenging, and it takes much time and a lot of effort to get used to it. I can distinctly remember when I bought a very new smartphone with cutting-edge technology immediately after it arrived. In spite of its appealing appearance having a curved edge, I barely could manage to use every offered options while I had just got accustomed to working with the previous one. In short, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that owing to high price of new arrival devices, unreliability of their productivity and their techy operating systems, newly-spread products do not seem superior to the previous ones.
Technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have always been updating for the last decades, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are
constantly
changing at a
remarkably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
desirously
tend to catch up with the latest electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
while others prefer to
conservatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Although benefiting from the newest options seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tempting, I would
rather
stick to those adopted by the crowd. In what follows I will elaborate on my perspective.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
arrival e-products
usually
are
astronomically
expensive and their prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more reasonable after a while. This pricing is not
necessarily
related to their capability and
mostly
is a result of the trend. Neither sellers nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
obsessed with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
gadgets notice the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
arrival products share common features with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. I,
however
always evaluate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices’
options and performances
first
and rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
convinced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
introduced to and distributed in the market.
For instance
, once I appraised a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
smartphone with the previous model of the same brand, and I found it pointless to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest.
As a result
, I saved roughly one-third of the whole price of the expensive one, and
consequently
, I could afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a suitable gear for my phone which was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
smartwatch.

Furthermore
, by not using the latest technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
, you can
involuntarily
carry out an evaluation in which you assess users’ satisfaction of having that special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
models of the same products arrive, and I feel I am facing a dilemma of buying the one suiting me the most. In this situation, I do nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time to ask their consumers whether they
are satisfied
. My mom once ordered one of the newest wireless headphones from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-known brand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
surprisingly
it did not work
properly
, and it
was announced
that it would
be discontinued
.

Finally
, dealing with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
operating system or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices’
software and applications has always been challenging, and it takes much time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it. I can
distinctly
remember when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
smartphone with cutting-edge technology immediately after it arrived.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
its appealing appearance having a curved edge, I
barely
could manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
every offered options while I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
accustomed to working with the previous one.

In short, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that owing to high price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
arrival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, unreliability of their productivity and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
techy
operating systems,
newly
-spread products do not seem superior to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay When a new technological device becomes available. Some people buy it right away, while others will wait until many have acquired it. Which do you prefer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
443 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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