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How Do Movies Or Television Influence People`s Behaviour? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Answer. v.1

How Do Movies Or Television Influence People`s Behaviour? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Answer. v. 1
Television has a big influence on our lives. Accepted or not, people spend many hours watching television or movies each day. Some people believe that television has a positive effect on their lives. Others disagree. In my view, I believe that television has a positive and negative effects on our lives, but mostly it' s affecting our behavior in negative way. The main reason is that we become more isolated from others when we sit watching television. When people watch television, they don' t want to communicate with others because this will prevent them from concentration, and that cause them to be isolated. For example, after my marriage in couple months, my husband used to watch football for hours in daily base. I was really upset from him because he didn' t want to talk or do anything with me while he was watching. I couldn' t stand that situation for longer time and I made a big fight because of that. Nowadays, he still watching football from time to time but not daily. As you could see, even though he is in love with me, but that didn' t prevent him from being isolated from me because the television. Second, Some people, especially the young ones, copy what they see on television. Sometimes television show horror or action movies that contain many aggression parts, and these parts influence on others behaviors. For instance, few weeks ago, I read on newspaper about an autistic young adult, who did a horrible act. He likes action movies as his mother mentions. She said that he used to watch television all the time and especially action movies, and once he decided to take his father gun and he went to the elementary school near his house and he opened fire on the kid. From this experience I could say that television affect negatively on people behavior. In conclusion, I believe that watching television could influence our behavior and mostly in bad way. Not only does television isolate people from each other. But it also increase aggressive behavior of some people. Of course it stills depend on what people watch, but it always better to decrease the amount of time that we spend in front of television.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
influence on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Accepted
or not,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
each day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Others disagree. In my view, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s affecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.

The main reason is that we become more isolated from others when we sit watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t want to communicate with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from concentration, and that cause them to
be isolated
.
For example
, after my marriage in couple months, my husband
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
football for hours in daily base. I was
really
upset from him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t want to talk or do anything with me while he was watching. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t stand that situation for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and I made a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that. Nowadays, he
still
watching football from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not daily. As you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
even though
he is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
him from
being isolated
from me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the television.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the young ones, copy what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
horror or action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aggression parts, and these parts influence on others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
For instance
, few weeks ago, I read on newspaper about an autistic young adult, who did a horrible act. He likes action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as his mother mentions. She said that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
especially
action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, and once he decided to take his father
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gun and
he went to the elementary school near his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
he opened fire on the kid. From this experience I could say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
affect
negatively
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behavior.

In conclusion
, I believe that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
could influence our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and
mostly
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
isolate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, it".
course it
stills depend on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
always better to decrease the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we spend in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay How Do Movies Or Television Influence People`s Behaviour? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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