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When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out It is pointless to try and keep them alive v.1

When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out It is pointless to try and keep them alive v. 1
Punishment for crimes varies from one country to another. While many people believe that anyone who commits a crime should be put in prison, others think sending criminals to jail is a waste of time and money. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a conclusion is reached. On the one hand, many people claim that criminals have to be imprisoned whether their crimes are serious or not. Imprisonment is a very common punishment in most countries in the world because prison is the most suitable place to rehabilitate prisoners, especially those committing serious offences. In addition, long prison sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who has some thought of committing a crime. This will lead to reducing the rate of delinquency in society. On the other hand, many people contest the above claim and argue that it is time and money consuming to send criminals to prison. In other words, imprisonment does not help reduce criminality. For first-time offenders, being in prison may have a bad influence on their character. They may become worse people because of being affected by other bad prisoners. For hardened criminals, imprisonment seems not to be heavy punishment. Therefore, when they are free, they may commit the same crime again in a higher level. This proves that imprisonment is meaningless in educating them to be good citizens later. In conclusion, criminal problems are likely to be solved in several ways. Depending on the severity of crime, governments should have the right punishment for criminals. In my opinion, long prison sentences should remain for those who commit serious crimes such as assault or murder because of the justice for the victims and their families.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
varies from one country to another. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that anyone who commits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to jail is a waste of time and money. Both sides of this argument will
be analyzed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a conclusion
is reached
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be imprisoned
whether their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are serious or not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Imprisonment
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in most countries in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the most suitable place to rehabilitate prisoners,
especially
those committing serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.
In addition
, long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This will lead to reducing the rate of delinquency in society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contest the above claim and argue that it is time and money consuming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
criminality. For
first
-time offenders, being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on their character. They may become worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
prisoners. For hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
seems not to be heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Therefore
, when they are free, they may commit the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again in a higher level. This proves that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is meaningless in educating them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens later.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
problems are likely to
be solved
in several ways. Depending on the severity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should have the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. In my opinion, long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences should remain for those who commit serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as assault or murder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the justice for the victims and their families.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out It is pointless to try and keep them alive v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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