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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems v.36

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems v. 36
Being a job person is not a strange thing. Most of the population in the world earning their lively hood from different jobs. Because it is not possible for everyone to make own business. To perform his duties and responsibility efficiently, it is very important for a human to be fit and healthy and to achieve the goal he/she must manage his/her time because in my point of view, it is the most important factor if someone wants to go parallel in the lifestyle with a job and fitness. Most of the individuals have a fixed office timing which is from morning to evening. In the case it is very easy to schedule the daily routine. I can give my example, how I follow my daily routine. I woke up early morning and straight go for exercise for half an hour and started to get ready for the office. Morning exercise made my mind fresh and gave energy to my body to start a new day. But now a days, especially in the western countries, people are used to eat junk meal because it’s an easy way to fulfil the hunger instantly, but these kind of instant and processed snack damaging the well-being on a rapid pace. To avoid the habit of junk foodstuff a job man must take home cooked lunch, which will not take more than ten minutes to prepare every day. People should understand the benefits of the little time, which will help them to stay healthy and free of common diseases like blood pressure, Diabetes. At the end of the essay, I will conclude with two things, which are daily exercise and home cooked fresh cuisine because nothing is more important than strength. A person can do everything if he is fit, because health is wealth.
Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
person is not a strange thing. Most of the population in the world earning their lively hood from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is not possible for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

To perform his duties and responsibility
efficiently
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a human to
be fit
and healthy and to achieve the goal he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
manage his/her time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my point of view, it is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor if someone wants to go parallel in the lifestyle with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and fitness.

Most of the individuals have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
office timing which is from morning to evening. In the case it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to schedule the daily routine. I can give my example, how I follow my daily routine. I woke up early morning and straight go for exercise for half an hour and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for the office. Morning exercise made my mind fresh and gave energy to my body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new day.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
,
especially
in the western countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat junk meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s an easy way to fulfil the hunger
instantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of instant and processed snack damaging the well-being on a rapid pace. To avoid the habit of junk foodstuff a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take home cooked lunch, which will not take more than ten minutes to prepare every day.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should understand the benefits of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to stay healthy and free of common diseases like blood pressure, Diabetes.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the essay, I will conclude with two things, which are daily exercise and home cooked fresh cuisine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nothing is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than strength. A person can do everything if he
is fit
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
health is wealth.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems v. 36

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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