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when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.15

when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 15
Technology changed the features of everything around us, however, our original treats linger. While a country enhances its technological development, the conventional skills and styles of living vanish. Moreover, it does not make any sense to hold onto them. The Essay will argue why this is completely preposterous. Although it's really hard to keep the traditional habits and ways of life alive when a nation develops its technology, it's always worth it. Furthermore, it is those original characterestics that distinguish a human race from another. For instance, in Japan, despite the major scientific achievements, they still believe in the simple spiritual superstitions of their ancestors. Therefore, preserving the ancient authentic style of life does not contradict with the ability of development. On the contrary, some people think that it's useless to hold on to the ancient way in which people used to live while dealing with modern technology. Indeed, that would be not only difficult, but also pointless. For example, in China, old museums are replaced with modern scientific galleries. Consequently, it's not always feasible not to give up on the traditional form of life while adapting to the current technological evolution. In conclusion, it's illogical for a nation to endeavour not to let go of our authentic skills and conventional lifestyle when it works on its technology. The Essay argued why this is extremely inaccurate. In my opinion, there is no contradiction between such goals and it's totally acceptable to stick to what our ancestors passed to us through different generations and also cope with the modern world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the features of everything around us,
however
, our original treats linger. While a country enhances its technological development, the conventional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and styles of living vanish.
Moreover
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense to hold onto them. The Essay will argue why this is completely preposterous.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the traditional habits and ways of life alive when a nation develops its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
always worth it.
Furthermore
, it is those original
Possible spelling mistake found.
characterestics
that distinguish a human race from another.
For instance
, in Japan, despite the major scientific achievements, they
still
believe in the simple spiritual superstitions of their ancestors.
Therefore
, preserving the ancient authentic style of life does not contradict with the ability of development.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
useless to hold on to the ancient way in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
while dealing with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Indeed
, that would be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pointless.
For example
, in China,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
museums
are replaced
with modern scientific galleries.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not always feasible not to give up on the traditional form of life while adapting to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technological evolution.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
illogical for a nation to
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go of our authentic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and conventional lifestyle when it works on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The Essay argued why this is
extremely
inaccurate. In my opinion, there is no contradiction between such goals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
totally
acceptable to stick to what our ancestors passed to us through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations and
also
cope with the modern world.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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