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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. v. 5
Many people argue that teaching student the literature and history of their own country will be better instead of other countries. In my opinion, I disagree with this idea because both of them play the equal roles in children’s development. On the one hand, teaching national literature in school gain a host of advantages. Firstly, the local literature assists student to enhance vocabulary and improve capability of using native languages. Students can learn grammar, formal language and the way to present the ideal, . . . from books and literary. For instance, To Hoai – one of the most famous author writes about daily life, his writing is extremely attractive and the usage of words very profound and subtle. One of his works was included in secondary school curriculum, and children can easily absorb and use his knowledge in communication and writing. Secondly, students will understand deeply about the tradition and culture of their own country through history and literature, so that will help to develop their patriotism. As a stark example, a literary always reflex the historical events which were according to the real heroes in the past, such as “ Thanh Giong, Yet Kieu, …” make children feel more proud of their country. On the other hand, it is also necessary to teach literature works of other countries in the study program. First of all, if students have the opportunities to approach the culture and tradition of other nations, they will sooner or later aware of the diversity in the world and can avoid culture shock when working or studying abroad. Moreover, learning about different cultures can extend the knowledge of children and they will have many different perspectives on one issue. In conclusion, I personally believe that both national and international literature and history should be applied in the school’s curriculum so that students can develop comprehensively.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and history of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be better
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of them play the equal roles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.

On the one hand, teaching national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
in school gain a host of advantages.
Firstly
, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to enhance vocabulary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
capability of using native languages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can learn grammar, formal language and the way to present the ideal
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
books and literary.
For instance
, To
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoai
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
author writes about daily life, his writing is
extremely
attractive and the usage of words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profound and subtle. One of his works
was included
in secondary school curriculum, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
absorb and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his knowledge in communication and writing.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will understand
deeply
about the tradition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
through history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their patriotism. As a stark example, a literary always reflex the historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which were according to the real heroes in the past, such as
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Thanh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Giong
,
Yet
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kieu
, …”
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel more proud of their country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
also
necessary to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the study program.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the opportunities to approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations, they will sooner or later aware of the diversity in the world and can avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock when working or studying abroad.
Moreover
, learning about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
can extend the knowledge of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on one issue.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that both national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and history should
be applied
in the school’s curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can develop
comprehensively
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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