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When a country develops in technology, the traditional. Skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

When a country develops in technology, the traditional. Skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep alive. v. 1
It is often stated that because of the obvious constant improvement in technology in all countries of the world, the traditional skills and ways of life of such country go into extinction. Therefore, there is no essence in trying to keep such cultural values alive. In my own opinion, I totally disagree with the above notion that states that there is no need to keep these traditions alive or that they die out because of the high impact of technology and the possibility of correlation between technology and traditional skills. Technological advancements throughout the world has great benefits and also detrimental effects in the economy. Technology has greatly improved several sectors such as communication, transportation, agriculture, education, engineering, construction, and aviation mention a few. But there are also some demerits it poses such as nuclear wars and bullying of underdeveloped countries. As a result of the merits of the presence of technology, there is no need for traditional skills go into extinction. Otherwise, technology can be used to improve these traditional skills and carry out a better task using these traditional skills as the basis. For instance, several drugs have been manufactured as a result of traditional herbs. The famous artemether, a malaria drug, originated from local herbalists, and with the help of technology, gave rise to a highly versatile drug distributed world wide. Therefore, these traditional skills cannot be forgotten. Technology can also be used to keep cultural values or traditional ways of life for as long as possible. Unarguably, most twenty-first century children do not know much about the traditional ways of life, but are engrossed and carried-away by the increasing technological developments occurring at a high rate such as phones, computers, and consoles. Luckily for them, Most twentieth century children were involved in the emergence of this technology and also have an indepth knowledge about the traditional ways of life which they were brought up with. As such, these cultural values cannot die out as they would be passed on from generation to generation, and with the help of technology, memories would be created and saved to show their future children. In conclusion, the high impact of technology in our lives has great awesome benefits. In my opinion, I disagree that due to technological advances, traditional skills would die out and that there is no need to keep them alive because technology can be used and is being used to keep these traditional ways of life alive for all time.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stated that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the obvious constant improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in all countries of the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of such country go into extinction.
Therefore
, there is no essence in trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
such cultural values
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alive
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I
totally
disagree with the above notion that states that there is no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
these traditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alive
or that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the possibility of correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Technological advancements throughout the world has great benefits and
also
detrimental effects in the economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
several sectors such as communication, transportation, agriculture, education, engineering, construction, and aviation mention a few.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits it poses such as nuclear wars and bullying of underdeveloped countries.
As a result
of the merits of the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there is no need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
go into extinction.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and carry out a better task using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as the basis.
For instance
, several drugs have
been manufactured
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
herbs. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
artemether
, a malaria drug, originated from local herbalists, and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, gave rise to a
highly
versatile drug distributed
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
cannot
be forgotten
.

Technology can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
cultural values or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for as long as possible.
Unarguably
, most twenty-
first
century children do not know much about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are engrossed
and carried-away by the increasing technological developments occurring at a high rate such as phones, computers, and consoles. Luckily for them, Most twentieth century children
were involved
in the emergence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
also
have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
indepth
knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which they
were brought
up with. As such, these cultural values cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out as they would
be passed
on from generation to generation, and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, memories would
be created
and saved to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their future children.

In conclusion
, the high impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has great awesome benefits. In my opinion, I disagree that due to technological advances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out and that there is no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alive
for all time.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay When a country develops in technology, the traditional. Skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep alive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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