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When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 3
In the past fifty years, the development of technology has significantly changed our lifestyle. Some of people believed that the traditional skills and old ways of life should be definitely replaced by modern and professional skills, yet there still remains argument against this issue. Overall, it is my personal view that no matter how prosperous technology is, the loss of traditional skills and ways of life will adversely affect our life. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that human beings are not born like robots. Human society grows from a long history of civilization. Without traditional ways of life, our life would become much more momentous rather than a colorful and beautiful life. Thanks to diversity of culture and customs, it motivates people to travel around the world to discover and experience different ways of life. Moreover, once traditional ways of life die out, human beings’ morale will suffer. Take the case of respecting seniority in a family as a salient example. The children will not how to show respect to their grandparents, which consequently leave the old isolated and frustrated. Even more importantly, though culture in general and traditional skills in particular facilitates the development of technology. The majority of inventions entails a great deal of time and efforts. It went through many times of trials and errors to be eventually successful. Thus, it is definitely disadvantageous if we are unable to inherit experience from previous generations. Were it not for traditional skills which laid the solid foundation, we would have to start from scratch. Therefore, the disappearance of traditional skills, particularly good skills may halt the progress of technology growth and make the technology cease to develop, otherwise the development of technology will take even longer period of time. By ways of conclusion, I once again affirm my position that culture and traditional skills are vitally pivotal due to their positive impact on the prosperity of technology and human beings. In years to come, I strongly believe that education campaigns in terms of preservation and concern about culture and lifestyle should be adopted by majority of population to make the development of technology much more achievable.
In the past fifty years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should be definitely replaced by modern and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
yet
there
still
remains argument against this issue.
Overall
, it is my personal view that no matter how prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is, the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
adversely
affect our life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings are not born like robots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
society grows from a long history of civilization. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would become much more momentous
rather
than a colorful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Thanks to diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs, it motivates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to travel around the world to discover and experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings’ morale will suffer. Take the case of respecting seniority in a family as a salient example. The children will not how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect to their grandparents, which
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
isolated and frustrated.

Even more
importantly
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in general
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in particular
facilitates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The majority of inventions entails a great deal of time and efforts. It went through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times of trials and errors to be
eventually
successful.
Thus
, it is definitely disadvantageous if we are unable to inherit experience from previous generations. Were it not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which laid the solid foundation, we would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from scratch.
Therefore
, the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
may halt the progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
growth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
cease to develop,
otherwise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will take even longer period of time.

By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of conclusion, I once again affirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
vitally
pivotal due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the prosperity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. In years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, I
strongly
believe that education campaigns in terms of preservation and concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and lifestyle should
be adopted
by majority of population to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
much more achievable.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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