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When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 2
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is polarised into two groups equally regarding to the notion that, many individuals say that it is a good way to learn from our family members as well as friends. However, Others say human should learn things by own veteran. Different people have distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making a final Sheets. To commence with the first notion that, some people in the view of advice of family and friends are good in our life. There has a myriad things in its favour. First and foremost, the family advice is helpful for youngsters, they show the right and perfect path for their better future. As a result, young one's can learn the moral values, respect and discipline from the family members. Secondly, the parents are the first teacher for the children and they give the best advices like as a punctuality also be a unique as well as parents can be good motivation, encouragement in their children's life. Furthermore, trustworthy friends Are always help in our studies as well as in our good and bad time. Shifting towards the school of thought, if, the young guns Will learn from their mistakes in daily life. Consequently, they Cannot be Lack their confidence and their self in future living. Therefore, the teenagers are mature enough to understand their self. Hence, no any person Teachs them because they can learn through their skills which have Perform in the past time. So, it will enhance their experience in living and they can take the best decisions as well face problems in the Span. Concurrently, it builds internal self-confidence and positive attitude from learning by our mistakes. Having discussed the arguments and Counter - arguments, I would like to state that for the juveniles the family and the best Friends advise is good as well as also for Young ones because they are never teach bad things to us. Hammering the last nail, I personally feel although, it is both good for Learning but I am opine that parents and nice friends advise is build our future span successful.
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two groups
equally
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals say that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
, Others say human should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
things by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
veteran.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final Sheets.

To commence with the
first
notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the view of advice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in our life. There has a myriad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
advice is helpful for youngsters, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the right and perfect path for their better future.
As a result
, young one's can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the moral values, respect and discipline from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Secondly
, the parents are the
first
teacher for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they give the best advices like as a punctuality
also
be a unique as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as parents can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
motivation, encouragement in their children's life.
Furthermore
, trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Are always
Consider using a past participle here: "helped".
help
in our studies as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
time.

Shifting towards the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, if, the young guns Will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their mistakes in daily life.
Consequently
, they Cannot be Lack their confidence and their self in future living.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand their self.
Hence
,
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any person
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teachs
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which have
Use past participle here: "performed".
Perform
in the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will enhance their experience in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living and
they can take the best decisions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
face problems in the Span.
Concurrently
, it builds internal self-confidence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude from learning by our mistakes.

Having discussed the arguments and Counter
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
arguments, I would like to state that for the juveniles the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
advise is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
also
for Young ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are never
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things to us.

Hammering the last nail, I
personally
feel although, it is both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for Learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am opine that parents and nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
advise is build our future span successful.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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