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Do you agree or disagree? The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v.145

The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v. 145
As far as I am concerned, the food that we ate in the past was extremely healthier compared to the food we eat these days in that not only was it people themselves that produced food materials in the past, but population, in current world, is also greatly more than it was in the past. The first point which should be mentioned here is that most of the people were producing food materials in the past. The majority of the people, because of the living situation, were working as a farmer or a rancher. Every person had a piece of land or a number of animals such as a sheep, a cow and forth on, and could produce the needed amount of food by himself. Regarding this fact that whenever a person is working or doing an activity related to himself by himself, he would do that better than any other person, so it can be easily derieved that he would take care more in yielding agricaltural materials such as rice, especially when it is connected to his healthy. Another point which deserves some words is that these days population on the earth is extremely more than it was in the previous period of living, because of improvment of technology. As a clear fact, the more population, the more needed food. Considering the mentioned fact, human beings are severely willing to yield more food, so they would tend to produce food as fast as it is feasible. In order to achieve this purpose, food producers, such as farmers, are using chemical materials to get plants grown as much as they could. As a result the food made form these plants would not be any more health since chemical materials would cause them to be harmful. By considering all mentioned points, it is high time that most of the people considered nowadays' food more hurtful than it was prior.
As far as I
am concerned
, the
food
that we ate in the past was
extremely
healthier compared to the
food
we eat these days in that not
only
was it
people
themselves that produced
food
materials
in the past,
but
population, in
current
world, is
also
greatly
more than it was in the past.

The
first
point which should
be mentioned
here is that most of the
people
were producing
food
materials
in the past. The majority of the
people
,
because
of the living situation, were working as a farmer or a rancher. Every person had a piece of land or a number of animals such as a sheep, a cow and forth on, and could produce the needed amount of
food
by himself. Regarding this fact that whenever a person is working or doing an activity related to himself by himself, he would do that better than any other person,
so
it can be
easily
derieved
that he would take care more in yielding
agricaltural
materials
such as rice,
especially
when it
is connected
to his healthy.

Another point which deserves
some
words is that these
days
population on the earth is
extremely
more than it was in the previous period of living,
because
of
improvment
of technology. As a
clear
fact, the more population, the more needed
food
. Considering the mentioned fact, human beings are
severely
willing to yield more
food
,
so
they would tend to produce
food
as
fast
as it is feasible. In order to achieve this purpose,
food
producers, such as farmers, are using chemical
materials
to
get
plants grown as much as they could.
As a result
the
food
made form these plants would not be any more health since chemical
materials
would cause them to be harmful.

By considering all mentioned points, it is high time that most of the
people
considered
nowadays&
#039;
food
more hurtful than it was prior.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v. 145

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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