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What place or landmark in your country do you recommend that other people visit? Explain why you think people should go there? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

What place or landmark in your country do you recommend that other people visit? Explain why you think people should go there? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
These days many people chose to live alone, especially in metropolitan areas and this rate is far higher in developed countries and seems like this has become quite normal there. I believe this trend has more negative consequences than the few positive outcomes it offers. The single-person family is seen to be positive from better personal skill development and economic perspective. A single-member family forces a person to learn some basic skills including cooking, cleaning the house, paying the utility bills, managing personal finance, purchasing daily commodities, adopting hobbies and many more important skills. This makes someone self-dependent which has a greater impact on the development of the country in a broader sense. For instance, research shows that students who stay away from home for their tertiary degrees learn more skills and become more self-dependent than pupils who study from home. Moreover, a single-person family member is bound to do a job, business or have some sort of arrangement for a steady earning and this trend has a great positive impact on a country’s economy. From the opposite viewpoint, the trend of increasing single-person family has many negative consequences. Firstly, the increasing trend of living alone has a direct relationship on the percentage of people suffer from psychological problems these days. Living alone creates loneliness and depression, unlike the traditional family where there are always others to share someone’s distress and sadness. The isolation often leads people to choose a lifestyle that is often negative. A recent study reveals that single-person family members often rely on drugs and many of them become addicted. The human is a social being and living alone is against their natural tendency. For many, bearing the total expenses is tough and this leads them to get involved in crimes. In conclusion, the number of single-person families is increasing these days and this has some positive aspects despite many severe negative consequences.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
,
especially
in metropolitan areas and this rate is far higher in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
and seems like this has become quite normal there. I believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "than". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences than
the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
outcomes it offers.

The single-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
from better personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development and economic perspective. A single-member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
forces a person to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
including cooking, cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, paying the utility bills, managing personal finance, purchasing daily commodities, adopting hobbies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
someone self-dependent which has a greater impact on the development of the country in a broader sense.
For instance
, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that students who stay away from home for their tertiary degrees learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and become more self-dependent than pupils who study from home.
Moreover
, a single-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member
is bound
to do a job, business or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of arrangement for a steady earning and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on a country’s economy.

From the opposite viewpoint, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of increasing single-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
consequences.
Firstly
, the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
has a direct relationship on the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from psychological problems these days. Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
creates loneliness and depression, unlike the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where there are always others to share someone’s distress and sadness. The isolation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to choose a lifestyle
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
. A recent study reveals that single-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
rely on drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them become addicted. The human is a social being and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is against their natural tendency. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, bearing the total expenses is tough and this leads them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in crimes.

In conclusion
, the number of single-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is increasing these days and this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspects despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
consequences.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What place or landmark in your country do you recommend that other people visit? Explain why you think people should go there? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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