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Name a place in your country you would recommend others to visit. Describe this place and explain why you would recommend it. v.2

Name a place in your country you would recommend others to visit. Describe this place and explain why you would recommend it. v. 2
Definition of development has always been different between people. Many of Government authorities believe that the most important progress is prosperity in economics, however, others think different sorts of improvement have importance as same as economic one. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic which will be discussed in details, followed by my point of view. On the one hand, there are those reasons about the power of economic is the world. Almost, all the issues around the countries are subjected by financial issues. It is undeniable that money is not the only main factor to reach success, but also it makes it easier and faster. For instance, convenience is more in developed countries in comparison with developed countries. Moreover, bank statements and investments are rewarding factors to show a person is successful or not, because people respect you more if you have more money in your pocket. Thus, Under no circumstances is it acceptable to deny the effect of economic factors on being successful. On the other hand, opposite views assert that there are some other sorts of progress which can be equal with economic progress. The most significant reason for this one is that the social behaviour of people is not more related economic progress. For example, it is obvious in developed countries that rate of violent behaviour is more than developing one. In the mean time, culture had been defined as a criteria of progress in most of historical books. Thus, other factors such as social manner, art and culture should be subjected as an equal factor with economic to progress. To conclude, there are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy, however, I personally think that attention should be paid to the improvement of other types of progress inculding politic since it is a pattern that can be demonstrated which country have progress and which one do not have it.
Definition of development has always been
different
between
people
.
Many
of
Government
authorities believe that the most
important
progress
is prosperity in
economics
,
however
, others
think
different
sorts of improvement have importance as same as
economic
one. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic which will
be discussed
in
details
, followed by my point of view.

On the one hand, there are those reasons about the power of
economic
is the world. Almost, all the issues around the
countries
are subjected
by financial issues. It is undeniable that money is not the
only
main
factor
to reach success,
but
also
it
makes
it easier and faster.
For instance
, convenience is more in developed
countries
in comparison
with developed
countries
.
Moreover
, bank statements and investments are rewarding
factors
to
show
a person is successful or not,
because
people
respect you more if you have more money in your pocket.
Thus
, Under no circumstances is it acceptable to deny the effect of
economic
factors
on being successful.

On the
other
hand, opposite views assert that there are
some
other
sorts of
progress
which can be equal with
economic
progress
. The most significant reason for this one is that the social
behaviour
of
people
is not more related
economic
progress
.
For example
, it is obvious in developed
countries
that rate of violent
behaviour
is more than developing one. In the
mean time
, culture had
been defined
as
a criteria
of
progress
in most of historical books.
Thus
,
other
factors
such as social manner, art and culture should
be subjected
as an equal
factor
with
economic
to progress.

To conclude
, there are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy,
however
, I
personally
think
that attention should
be paid
to the improvement of
other
types of
progress
inculding
politic since it is a pattern that can
be demonstrated
which
country
have
progress
and which one do not have it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Name a place in your country you would recommend others to visit. Describe this place and explain why you would recommend it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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