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What is your idea of the perfect vacation? Describe it and explain why? It would be the ideal vacation for u. Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

What is your idea of the perfect vacation? Describe it and explain why? It would be the ideal vacation for u. Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
As a result of the dangerous effect continuous consumption of sugar causes, it is thought by some that the government should play a role in controlling its intake, while others believe that it is the sole duty of a person to regulate how he consumes it. I, however, believe that an individual is solely responsible for the number of sweet things he consumes. On the one hand, in order to prevent health conditions, it is paramount that the government educates his citizens about the effects of sugar. This can be done by carrying out health awareness programmes, warning people about how diseases like diabetes, hypertension can drastically reduce life expectancy. With measures like this, there will be a reduction in sugar consumption generally. For example, after the 2019 "say no to sugar campaign" there was a reported decrease in the number of people diagnosed with diabetes. On the other hand, no one can take care of a person’s health better than themselves, as individuals know their own body requirements better. Adults have free will and should be able to control what they consume. Also, everyone is different and cannot be measured on the same scale. For instance, if someone has a family history of diabetes then he should take precautions and consume less sugar than the others because he is more likely to develop diabetes.  In addition, there are multiple ways through which people can regulate their sugar cravings. For example, they can use sugar-free products instead of real sugar. I believe that adults are the only one who can ultimately regulate the sugar they take because when they are faced with difficult health conditions as a result of consumption of sweet food, they will not have a choice than to cut it down. In conclusion, although the government can control sugar intake by the creation of awareness, I believe it is the sole responsibility of a person to control sugary substance intake because nobody knows the body of a person better than the individual himself.
As a result
of the
dangerous
effect continuous consumption of
sugar
causes, it is
thought
by
some
that the
government
should play a role in controlling its intake, while others
believe
that it is the sole duty of a
person
to regulate how he consumes it. I,
however
,
believe
that an individual is
solely
responsible for the number of sweet things he consumes.

On the one hand, in order to
prevent
health
conditions, it is paramount that the
government
educates his citizens about the effects of
sugar
. This can
be done
by carrying out
health
awareness
programmes
, warning
people
about how diseases like diabetes, hypertension can
drastically
reduce
life expectancy. With measures like this, there will be a reduction in
sugar
consumption
generally
.
For example
, after the 2019
"
say no to
sugar
campaign
"
there was a reported decrease in the number of
people
diagnosed with diabetes.

On the other hand
, no one can take care of a
person’s
health
better than themselves, as individuals know their
own
body requirements better. Adults have free will and should be able to control what they consume.
Also
, everyone is
different
and cannot
be measured
on the same scale.
For instance
, if someone has a family history of diabetes then he should take precautions and consume less
sugar
than the others
because
he is more likely to develop diabetes.  
In addition
, there are multiple ways through which
people
can regulate their
sugar
cravings.
For example
, they can
use
sugar-free products
instead
of real
sugar
. I
believe
that adults are the
only
one who can
ultimately
regulate the
sugar
they take
because
when they
are faced
with difficult
health
conditions
as a result
of consumption of sweet food, they will not have a choice than to
cut
it down.

In conclusion
, although the
government
can control
sugar
intake by the creation of awareness, I
believe
it is the sole responsibility of a
person
to control sugary substance intake
because
nobody knows the body of a
person
better than the individual himself.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What is your idea of the perfect vacation? Describe it and explain why? It would be the ideal vacation for u. Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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