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What is your happiest childhood memory? Describe it and give reasons to explain why it is your happiest memory. v.1

What is your happiest childhood memory? Describe it and give reasons to explain why it is your happiest memory. v. 1
With the evolution of technology, business meetings and trainings are being conducted in such a way that people are feeling more convenient. Few organizations have already adopted this online practice across the globe. In my opinion, I firmly believe that this kind of development outweighs the drawbacks. Firstly, employees in large organizations are given more flexibility in work timings. This is primarily due to their various customers located across the globe. In such cases, online project related meetings and trainings play a pivotal role in meeting the deadlines for the delivery. Secondly, it is not feasible to have in person meetings when both parties are separated by several thousand miles apart. Moreover, online meetings are extremely beneficial during short timelines in project deliverables where stakeholders can save time in travelling. On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks in online business trainings. Without physical interactions, sometimes people find it hard to focus on sessions. However, few trainers offer Video Q&A sessions after trainings. Such practice definitely helps listeners to clarify their doubts. For example, few companies provide e-learning materials with mandatory assessments to complete. This form of online training is fruitful for companies as it is better for them to coordinate with thousands of people rather than the conventional way. To conclude, meetings and trainings for large volume of people can be better organized through online. It also saves some time for both parties. As mentioned above, the online system is highly beneficial for stakeholders from different time zones and the drawbacks can be substituted with alternatives.
With the evolution of technology, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
are
being conducted
in such a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are feeling more convenient. Few organizations have already adopted this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
practice across the globe. In my opinion, I
firmly
believe that this kind of development outweighs the drawbacks.

Firstly
, employees in large organizations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more flexibility in work timings. This is
primarily
due to their various customers located across the globe. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
project related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
play a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
the deadlines for the delivery.
Secondly
, it is not feasible to have in person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
when both parties
are separated
by several thousand miles apart.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are
extremely
beneficial during short timelines in project deliverables where stakeholders can save time in travelling.

On the other hand
, there are certain drawbacks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
. Without physical interactions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to focus on sessions.
However
, few trainers offer

Video Q&A sessions after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
. Such practice definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
listeners to clarify their doubts.
For example
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide e-learning materials with mandatory assessments to complete. This form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is fruitful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as it is better for them to coordinate with thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than the conventional way.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
for large volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be better organized through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It
also
saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for both parties. As mentioned above, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system is
highly
beneficial for stakeholders from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time zones and the drawbacks can
be substituted
with alternatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay What is your happiest childhood memory? Describe it and give reasons to explain why it is your happiest memory. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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