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Describe a happy childhood memory. You should say: when and where the incident you remember happened. who you were with what happened exactly and explain why it is a happy memory. v.2

Describe a happy childhood memory. You should say: when and where the incident you remember happened. who you were with what happened exactly and explain why it is a happy memory. v. 2
In recent times, the rate of self-employment has increased. Individuals prefer to work for themselves instead of being employed in any organization. Reason could be the wish to do independent work with less hectic routine and education. This essay will discuss both these causes and provide the negative impacts it can be created. With the growth in technology, it is quite feasible to get the start-up ideas, get hands on some skill set or acquire an online job which doesn’t require any technical skills. One of the main reason for being interested in self-employment could be not having any professional degree along with less or no experience. Perhaps it is easier to find an online work with the proof of some certificates compared to the corporate companies which require particular degree and experience for hiring. Another reason could be the convenience of work timings. Self-work does not require any time related constraints as opposed to the companies where employee has to follow work ethics and rules. It has been observed in a recent survey that people opt for own work rather than an office job in order to make their own schedule and be their own boss. Thus these are some causes which intrigue a person to freelance. Despite the fact that self-employment is growing rapidly, it has numerous drawbacks as well. First one being an unsteady income. Businesses don’t work on fixed amount revenue or monthly salaries. The profit varies and there is always a probability of going into loss which is not the case in corporate jobs. Along with that, since there is no restriction of timings and working hours, one would spend days and nights to gain profits and being successful thus not having a proper routine and constant stress results in multiple health issues. One of the research also concluded that the majority of entrepreneurs and business person are highly affected by mental stress issues. Therefore, the uncertainty of money and irregular working hours are major disadvantages of self-employment. In sum, the culture of organizations leads to have more ratio towards self-work and it have pros and cons. This essay highlighted some of the causes prevailing in the society for self-employment along with its demerits.
In recent times, the rate of self-employment has increased. Individuals prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves
instead
of
being employed
in any organization. Reason could be the wish to do independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with less hectic routine and education. This essay will discuss both these causes and provide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts it can
be created
.

With the growth in technology, it is quite feasible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hands on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set or acquire an online job which doesn’t require any technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. One of the main reason for
being interested
in self-employment could be not having any professional degree along with less or no experience. Perhaps it is easier to find an online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with the proof of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certificates compared to the corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which require particular degree and experience for hiring. Another reason could be the convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
timings. Self-work does not require any time related constraints as opposed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
where employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. It has
been observed
in a recent survey that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than an office job in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule and be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes which intrigue a person to freelance.

Despite the fact that self-employment is growing
rapidly
, it has numerous drawbacks
as well
.
First
one being an unsteady income. Businesses don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
amount revenue or monthly salaries. The profit varies and there is always a probability of going into loss which is not the case in corporate jobs. Along with that, since there is no restriction of timings and working hours, one would spend days and nights to gain profits and being successful
thus
not having a proper routine and constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
results in multiple health issues. One of the research
also
concluded that the majority of entrepreneurs and business person are
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
issues.
Therefore
, the uncertainty of money and irregular working hours are major disadvantages of self-employment.

In sum, the culture of organizations leads to have more ratio towards self-work and it
Did you mean "has"?
have
pros and cons. This essay highlighted
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes prevailing in the society for self-employment along with its demerits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe a happy childhood memory. You should say: when and where the incident you remember happened. who you were with what happened exactly and explain why it is a happy memory. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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