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What is the best quality of a good son or daughter? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v.1

What is the best quality of a good son or daughter? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1
The major cause of adverse environmental effect in the contemporary world is the loss of biodiversity, some people argue that, while others may believe it has several significant reasons. In my opinion, though extinct a specific group of plants and animals is one of the cause for climate change, there are various human created issues that play a crucial role to change nature. Firstly, Human being intended to make deforestation and logging for urbanization and these are the causes of climate change. These are also caused by extinct biodiversity, which keeps the harmony of ecology and protects people from several pollutant particles. For instance, a survey says that country with dense vegetation keep their people healthy and long-lived. In this way, loss of specific kind of plants and animals are the reason for climate change. However, I opined that there are more significant environmental problems today. Such as contamination of air emit the carbon footprint from industry and vehicle is a severe environmental problem in an urban area. Similarly, a natural disaster like drought, famine and the flood is happening for global warming. Moreover, through hazardous waste to the ocean makes the water table high in coastal areas. To illustrate, some environmentalist says that, most capitalist countries build skyscrapers through deforestation which makes more severe environmental hazards. In conclusion, though the loss of some specific species of nature is risky for the environment, some people believe this, however, others have some valid reasons, which are more liable to mitigate the climate change during this time.
The major cause of adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
effect in the contemporary world is the loss of biodiversity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that, while others may believe it has several significant reasons. In my opinion, though extinct a specific group of plants and animals is one of the cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, there are various human created issues that play a crucial role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
nature.

Firstly
, Human
being intended
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
deforestation and logging for urbanization and these are the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. These are
also
caused by extinct biodiversity, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the harmony of ecology and protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from several pollutant particles.
For instance
, a survey says that country with dense vegetation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
healthy and long-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
. In this way, loss of specific kind of plants and animals are the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

However
, I opined that there are more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Such as contamination of air emit the carbon footprint from industry and vehicle is a severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problem in an urban area.
Similarly
, a natural disaster like drought, famine and the flood is happening for global warming.
Moreover
, through hazardous waste to the ocean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the water table high in coastal areas. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmentalist says that, most capitalist countries build skyscrapers through deforestation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards.

In conclusion
, though the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific species of nature is risky for the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe this,
however
, others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid reasons, which are more liable to mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
during this time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay What is the best quality of a good son or daughter? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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