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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v.1

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v. 1
In today’s world travelling across the globe has become very trendy. While some people feel that it is necessary as it can help gain knowledge about other countries, others argue that there is enough content present online and on television. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the former. Firstly, with the advent of technology, accessibility to information on digital platforms is a blessing. From different kinds of exotic places across the planet to various people and cultures, everything is available. For example, anyone travelling to a unique destination will post blogs or Vlogs on the places they have visited, things they did and would share their experience in detail, helping one learn about that place. Moreover, there are many television programs available on travel, food and history for different countries where one can learn about. On the other hand, when someone travels to a different land, they will gain practical experience. Meeting new people, getting an opportunity to interact with them and staying among them will definitely help one learn about their lifestyle better. For instance, I personally lived in four different countries in the span of six years and I learnt more about each country better in person rather than reading about them online. Moreover, I felt more excited when I stood on the London bridge rather that watching it online. In conclusion, even though there is ample amount of material available on the digital space and on television to learn about other countries, I believe travelling can broaden one’s horizons as it certainly helped expand mine.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world travelling across the globe has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
trendy. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that it is necessary as it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, others argue that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
content present online and on television. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the former.

Firstly
, with the advent of technology, accessibility to information on digital platforms is a blessing. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of exotic places across the planet to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and cultures, everything is available.
For example
, anyone travelling to a unique destination will post blogs or Vlogs on the places they have visited, things they did and would share their experience in detail, helping one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about that place.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
television programs available on travel, food and history for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when someone travels to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
land, they will gain practical experience. Meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, getting an opportunity to interact with them and staying among them will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about their lifestyle better.
For instance
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the span of six years and I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
more about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
better in person
rather
than reading about them online.
Moreover
, I felt more excited when I stood on the London bridge
rather
that watching it online.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is ample amount of material available on the digital space and on television to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I believe travelling can broaden one’s horizons as it
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
expand mine.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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