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Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v.1

Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v. 1
There has been many inevitable concerns about the media showing negative contents than positive developments which is harmful and ineffective to the people and the society. Do you really think negative problems can change human minds negatively? Well, definitely not. I agree with the statement to some extent as society needs to know all crucial and paramount news. I would like to propound and expound on this topic. Firstly, media focussing more on negative issues is not harmful because negative issues and emergencies make people alert about their necessities and availabilities so that they can improve themselves better than yesterday. Although myriad is interested in watching or reading negative news reports just to know what can be done by them to solve the issues at least as a drop in the ocean. For example- Recently there was a news about the world's biggest and densest forest Amazon was on fire for 2 days and media has covered this news for 30 hours invoking the government to take actions to lessen the fire. However, I believe negative news in tv's or papers only lead society to know what is happening around the world. Secondly, there are surprisingly many channels which focus on positive developments and negative disputes withstanding the political power. There is a misinterpretation that the media has no laws and have the right to break the rules however, I condemn these points as news reports are the only way to reach people in a viable way. For instance, television showing breaking news about the thieves robbing the houses makes people alert and protect themselves from such dangers. To conclude, the aforementioned statement I am inclined to agree to some extent as the media should cover both positive and negative issues as they're the part of this contemporary society which will help people to interpret what is right and what is wrong.
There has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inevitable concerns about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
contents than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments which is harmful and ineffective to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Do you
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
problems can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
human minds
negatively
? Well, definitely not. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs to know all crucial and paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. I would like to propound and expound on this topic.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
focussing more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is not harmful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and emergencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alert about their necessities and availabilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves better than yesterday. Although myriad
is interested
in watching or reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to know what can
be done
by them to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
at least as a drop in the ocean.
For example
- Recently there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about the world's biggest and densest forest Amazon was on fire for 2 days and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has covered this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for 30 hours invoking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take actions to lessen the fire.
However
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
's or papers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to know what is happening around the world.

Secondly
, there are
surprisingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
channels which focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
disputes withstanding the political power. There is a misinterpretation that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has no laws and have the right to break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
however
, I condemn these points as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reports are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider replacing "in a viable way" with the adverb for "viable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a viable way
.
For instance
, television showing breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about the thieves robbing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alert and protect themselves from such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

To conclude
, the aforementioned statement I
am inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should cover both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as they're the part of this contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interpret what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Describe a most happy event in your childhood. Please include specificexamples and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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