Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

46. What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained the same over time in your culture? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

46. What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained the same over time in your culture? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, many parents are concerned about their children’s violent behaviour because of the increase in the portrayal of violence in various entertainment programs. These violent programs have many harmful effects. This essay will elaborate more on the harmful effects and suggest possible solutions to mitigate these effects. To begin with, aggressive behaviour in children is one of the side effects of watching violent programs. Children often imitate what they see on television. When they are exposed to violence via TV programs, they start believing that aggression is the best solution for every problem, and they start adopting these unwanted behaviours in their daily life. For example, studies have conclusively shown that children who watch a lot of violent content show high levels of aggression. Another effect of watching violent content is that they become fearless. Movies always have a hero who has the power to do anything. Teenagers often get influenced by reel heroes. They also get into the habit of abusing weak children. Cases of bullying in schools are increasing. There are possible solutions to handle these effects. Firstly, parental control can play a major role. Parents must become more vigilant and closely monitor the activities of their children. They also need to educate their young ones that violence is not good for the society and take corrective measures when they see such kind of behaviour in their children. Parental lock on TV channels can help parents to limit what their children see on television. Another possible solution is by involving children in community services. Social services like helping elderly people can help children to become docile and develop empathy for weaker sections of the society. To conclude, watching violent content leads to dangerous effect on children, such as aggression and fearlessness. These behaviours can be tackled with effective coaching and proper vigilance from parents and by involving children in community services.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increase in the portrayal of violence in various entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful effects. This essay will elaborate more on the harmful effects and suggest possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to mitigate these effects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is one of the side effects of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
imitate what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on television. When they
are exposed
to violence via TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
believing that aggression is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for every problem, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
adopting these unwanted
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in their daily life.
For example
, studies have
conclusively
shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
content
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
high levels of aggression.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
content is that they become fearless. Movies always have a hero who has the power to do anything.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by reel heroes. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the habit of abusing weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Cases of bullying in schools are increasing.

There are possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to handle these effects.
Firstly
, parental control can play a major role.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become more vigilant and
closely
monitor the activities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
also
need to educate their young ones that violence is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the society and take corrective measures when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
such kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parental lock on TV channels can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to limit what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on television. Another possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is by involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in community services. Social services like helping elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become docile and develop empathy for weaker sections of the society.

To conclude
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
content leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, such as aggression and fearlessness. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
can
be tackled
with effective coaching and proper vigilance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and by involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in community services.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 46. What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained the same over time in your culture? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts