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What in your opinion, has been the single most important scientific or technologycal development of the last fifty years? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.2

What in your opinion, has been the single most important scientific or technologycal development of the last fifty years? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2
It is astinishing how the world has been changed in last fifty years. A myriad of things have been invented. In my opinion, the most important one was the invention of the cellphone. The reasons why I hold this stance will be elaborated in the paragraphs below. One of the reasons is that cellphones enable people to communicate in easy way. Nowadays, with the exixtance of smartphones humans can reach their friends, relatives, colleagues or partners from the all around the world just at the touch of the buttton. The modern apps, such as Skype or WhatsApp let people not merely talk to each other whenever they want, but to have visual communication as well. If pople, who lived one hundred years ago, had have this marvelous advantage, they definitely would have appreciated it. Although some individuals are thechnopobes, even they use cellptones to saty in toucth with their beloved ones. To that end, cellphones provide mankind with the tool to socialize. Another reason is that cellphones facilitate rise of the intelligence. Today, almost every smartphone has acces to the Internet, which contains tremendous amount of inforamation on a variety of topics. Therefore, by using the web students can find any information they need to excel in the process of education. If before the invention of the cellphones students had to spend hours in the library to search for the infornmation they need, today they need just a seconds to achieve the same outcome. Dispite the opinion that cellphones very often distruct students from their studies, nowadays it is sometimes indispensable to use cellphones to find the necessary information. So, cellphones enable people to enhance their inlellectual abilities. To recapitulate, I feel that the most conspicuous technologycal development of the last fifty years, was the craft of the cellphones. This is very significant since cellphones provide people with the feasibility to communicate with others and make them smarter. All things considered it is reasonanle to assume that cellphones are crucial to have for people.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
astinishing
how the world has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in last fifty years. A myriad of things
Possible agreement error
have
been invented
. In my opinion, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one was the invention of the cellphone. The reasons why I hold this stance will
be elaborated
in the paragraphs below.

One of the reasons is that cellphones enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate in easy way. Nowadays, with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
exixtance
of smartphones humans can reach their friends, relatives, colleagues or partners from the all around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at the touch of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
buttton
. The modern apps, such as Skype or WhatsApp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
merely
talk to each other whenever they want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to have visual communication
as well
. If
Possible spelling mistake found.
pople
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
one hundred years ago, had
Use past participle here: "had".
have
this marvelous advantage, they definitely would have appreciated it. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are
Possible spelling mistake found.
thechnopobes
, even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
cellptones
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
saty
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
toucth
with their beloved ones. To that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, cellphones provide mankind with the tool to socialize.

Another reason is that cellphones facilitate rise of the intelligence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, almost every smartphone has
Possible spelling mistake found.
acces
to the Internet, which contains tremendous amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
inforamation
on a variety of topics.
Therefore
, by using the web students can find any information they need to excel in the process of education. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of the cellphones students had to spend hours in the library to search for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
infornmation
they need,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a second" or simply "seconds"?
a seconds
to achieve the same outcome.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dispite
the opinion that cellphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake found.
distruct
students from their studies, nowadays it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
indispensable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cellphones to find the necessary information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, cellphones enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enhance their
Possible spelling mistake found.
inlellectual
abilities.

To recapitulate, I feel that the most conspicuous
Possible spelling mistake found.
technologycal
development of the last fifty years, was the craft of the cellphones. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant since cellphones provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the feasibility to communicate with others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them smarter. All things considered it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonanle
to assume that cellphones are crucial to have for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay What in your opinion, has been the single most important scientific or technologycal development of the last fifty years? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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