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Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.3

Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 3
Wildlife is one of a noteworthy case to constantly keep the environmental balance. Reduction of wildlife population can interfere the natural ecosystem and food chain system, thus affecting the survival of other living things. Mostly, the decrease of animal population caused by human actions. However, there are some solutions to overcome that matter. Some of them is it can be avoided by preserving the environment and protecting the life of wild animals. The wildlife population decline can be prevented by not doing illegal hunting. It often occurs and done by irresponsible people who hunted animals in prohibiting way for their own benefit. The hunt must have a legally valid license and is from the government. An official permit will avert the occurrence of massive hunting. Generally, the government does not allow the ledge animals to be hunted, only animals that have large populations can be hunted. Moreover, protect the ledge animals by making conservation or wildlife reserve also can help preventing the wildlife population decline. The government makes conservation or wildlife reserve to provide a safe habitat for animals so that they are able to stay alive and multiply to increase their populations. Furthermore, it can keep the environmental balance, as a place for support cultivation, and a place for learning to explore knowledge and research. In conclusion, the existing of wildlife depends on the human actions. If human can take care of the animal and the environment well, which is one of natural unit, the animal survival will also be maintained.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wildlife
is one of a noteworthy case to
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environmental balance. Reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can interfere the natural ecosystem and food chain system,
thus
affecting the survival of other living things.
Mostly
, the decrease of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
caused by human actions.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to overcome that matter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them is it can
be avoided
by preserving the environment and protecting the life of wild animals.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
decline can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by not doing illegal hunting. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occurs and done by irresponsible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who hunted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in prohibiting way for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit. The hunt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a
legally
valid license and is from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. An official permit will avert the occurrence of massive hunting.
Generally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the ledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
be hunted
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that have large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
can
be hunted
.

Moreover
, protect the ledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by making conservation or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
reserve
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to prevent" or "prevent".
preventing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
decline. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
conservation or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
reserve to provide a safe habitat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are able to stay alive and multiply to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
.
Furthermore
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environmental balance, as a place for support cultivation, and a place for learning to explore knowledge and research.

In conclusion
, the existing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
depends on the human actions. If human can take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and the environment well, which is one of natural unit, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
survival will
also
be maintained
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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