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Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v.1

Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 1
Over the last fifty years, the wildlife population across the globe has reduced by half which has been evidenced by the recent studies. Wildlife is a vital element of the world for a balanced ecosystem. This essay will discuss the methods that can help in protecting the wildlife around the world. Firstly, countries should impose stricter rules and regulations against hunting and killing of wild animals. Wild animals are mainly killed for their fur, skin and tusks by poachers, which is sold in the black market for huge sums of money. Implementation of stringent laws against the killing of wild animals could help in reducing such incidents. For example, in my country, India, killing wild animals is considered to be a criminal case and one can be tried in the court, the verdict of which is extensive fines and imprisonment for more than a year. Additionally, governments should implement laws against deforestation, as destroying the natural habitat of animals have an adverse effect on the life span. Secondly, spreading awareness amongst ourselves is another method which could help in preventing the decline of wild animals. With the advancement in media and advertisements, governments must run campaigns educating people on the importance of wild animals for a balanced ecosystem. For example, my community organizes periodic seminars on world environmental issues, in which the preservation of wildlife is discussed extensively. Social media such as Facebook and Twitter can be used as a tool to spread such information and messages to educate mass populations on the importance of preserving the wildlife. In conclusion, just as humans, wild animals form an integral part of the ecosystem and it is our responsibility to ensure these animals are left unhurt and to implement measures such as strict laws and spreading awareness to preserve their lives.
Over the last fifty years, the wildlife population across the globe has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by half which has
been evidenced
by the recent studies. Wildlife is a vital element of the world for a balanced ecosystem. This essay will discuss the methods that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in protecting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wildlife
around the world.

Firstly
, countries should impose stricter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations against hunting and killing of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
mainly
killed for their fur, skin and tusks by poachers, which
is sold
in the black market for huge sums of money. Implementation of stringent laws against the killing of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing such incidents.
For example
, in my country, India, killing wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is considered
to be a criminal case and one can
be tried
in the court, the verdict of which is extensive fines and imprisonment for more than a year.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should implement laws against deforestation, as destroying the natural habitat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have an adverse effect on the life span.

Secondly
, spreading awareness amongst ourselves is another method which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in preventing the decline of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. With the advancement in media and advertisements,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
run campaigns educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the importance of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for a balanced ecosystem.
For example
, my community organizes periodic seminars on world environmental issues, in which the preservation of wildlife
is discussed
extensively
. Social media such as Facebook and Twitter can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a tool to spread such information and messages to educate mass populations on the importance of preserving the wildlife.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as humans, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
form an integral part of the ecosystem and it is our responsibility to ensure these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unhurt and to implement measures such as strict laws and spreading awareness to preserve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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