Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What factors are related to academic success in high school students? Write at least 250 words. v.2

What factors are related to academic success in high school students? v. 2
Every student wants to achieve the top slot in their academic life. Many factors are involved to have successful school life. I will explain various points that are related to academic success and how it can be implemented in my further paragraphs. To embark on, pupils always want to be the best in their school or college life. To reach the podium, students must take care of many thinks so as to be competent enough. Firstly, Patience and perseverance are the key factors of any success. There will be failure in achieving any task. But, one can complete any task or master his ability in a particular subject if he constantly keeps on trying that thing. Secondly, proper guidance is must for any student even adult as well. Good teachers and parents will show how to correct our mistakes and which path should be chosen. Lastly, a pupils must possess competitive nature so that he or she can compete with their classmates because it will help them to put more effort in a particular subject. Above discussed factors are super easy to implement for any child provided they must get proper opportunity, encouragement and guidance. Even if a student has the ability and zeal, he cannot achieve the highest level with support from parents and teachers. Therefore, school must provide proper platform for students to showcase their talents such as science competition, creative completion etc. Parents must encourage their children to participate all school activities. Last but not the least, rewards for achieving in any specific goal will always motivate students because it gives them to work harder for the next level. To sum up, encouragement from parent and guidance from teacher, a student can achieve success in school through hard work and patience.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wants to achieve the top slot in their academic life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors
are involved
to have successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
various points that
are related
to academic success and how it can
be implemented
in my
further
paragraphs.

To embark on, pupils always want to be the best in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or college life. To reach the podium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Firstly
, Patience and perseverance are the key factors of any success. There will be failure in achieving any task.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, one can complete any task or master his ability in a particular subject if he
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on trying that thing.
Secondly
, proper guidance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
even adult
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how to correct our mistakes and which path should
be chosen
.
Lastly
,
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a pupil" or simply "pupils"?
a pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
possess competitive nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he or she can compete with their classmates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to put more effort in a particular subject.

Above discussed factors are super easy to implement for any child provided they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper opportunity, encouragement and guidance. Even if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has the ability and zeal, he cannot achieve the highest level with support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide proper platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to showcase their talents such as science competition, creative completion etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage their children to participate all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
activities. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, rewards for achieving in any specific goal will always motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them to work harder for the
next
level.

To sum up, encouragement from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and guidance from teacher, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can achieve success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and patience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay What factors are related to academic success in high school students? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts