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What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v.1

What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v. 1
A substantial number of pupils make up their mind to extend their study in the overseas countries. While studying in a foreign nation has a number of demerits, it also possesses some benefits. In my opinion the advantages of studying in a country beyond the bonder outweigh its disadvantages. People advocating the disadvantages having foreign degrees in a different country hold their own compelling reason. First of all, students studying abroad often suffer from loneliness being thousands of miles away from their families. This leads them to depression and disorientation. They feel homesick and sometimes fail to cope up with the culture and the custom of the new country. One of my brothers, for example, went to the UK to complete his bachelor degree, but after going there, he found it so difficult to keep abreast with the new life that has resulted in his return to Bangladesh leaving his dream behind. On the other hand, people who support overseas cultivation also hold robust arguments in their favour. First of all, it broadens the horizons for a student and widens his outlook. This makes them more open minded. For example, they can get the opportunity to be introduced to a culture totally different from their own and grab the chance to know the new customs and other ways of doing things. Furthermore, there are academic benefits of studying in a foreign land. Students can adopt their desired courses at a prestigious university. Also, they can acquire quality perception directly from better professors who are well informed about the latest education and technology all over the globe. In addition to their opportunity of getting better jobs will be higher. In conclusion, it is quite understandable that people hold different interpretations an the same issue-even on whether the learners should travel abroad for higher education or not. For my part, studies abroad have some negative sides, it holds more obvious benefits such as it enriches one's vision and provides them with the practice of first world lifestyle and in completing their education they can opt for better opportunities. Thus, studying overseas, is more advantageous.
A substantial number of pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up their mind to extend their study in the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign nation has a number of demerits, it
also
possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. In my opinion the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
beyond the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bonder
outweigh its disadvantages.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
advocating the disadvantages having foreign degrees in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
compelling reason.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffer from loneliness being thousands of miles away from their families. This leads them to depression and disorientation. They feel homesick and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
fail to cope up with the culture and the custom of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One of my brothers,
for example
, went to the UK to complete his bachelor degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after going there, he found it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast with the new life that has resulted in his return to Bangladesh leaving his dream behind.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support overseas cultivation
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
robust arguments in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it broadens the horizons for a student and widens his outlook. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to
be introduced
to a culture
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and grab the chance to know the new customs and other ways of doing things.

Furthermore
, there are academic benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign land. Students can adopt their desired courses at a prestigious university.
Also
, they can acquire quality perception
directly
from better professors who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
about the latest education and technology all over the globe.
In addition
to their opportunity of getting better jobs will be higher.

In conclusion
, it is quite understandable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interpretations
Did you mean "and" or "any"?
an
the same issue-even on whether the learners should travel abroad for higher education or not. For my part, studies abroad have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holds
more obvious benefits such as it enriches one's vision and provides them with the practice of
first
world lifestyle and in completing their education they can opt for better opportunities.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas, is more advantageous.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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